Bread

I can't believe I haven't posted this before!

This is my version of an Italian/Greek rustic bread. It should really be made with unbleached flour but good luck finding that. It's extremely versatile and easy and if you have it memorized as I do, and my son does too, it is almost second nature in this house.

I've used it to make loaves, buns, garlic bread, bruschetta, pizza base, breadsticks, and even cinnamon buns. With a slight tweak it makes a decent pita or naan too. You can add herbs or whatever and it is robust enough to make into cheese bread. It is NOT fluffy. If you like bread with the texture of polyester quilt batting, you need American bread. And it's not baguette, which is baked in a steam oven. This is the flavour that will remind you of fresh bread from dawn bakeries in the backstreets of the Mediterranean.

You need traditional dried yeast, not instant or fast rise or any of that.

Begin with:

2 cups hot tap water (you don't need to test the temperature, if it's too hot you won't want to put your finger in it)
4 tsp yeast
2 tsp sugar

Put this in a 4 cup measuring jug and leave it OUT OF A DRAFT in a warm place until the froth on the top is about an inch tall. Takes about 10 minutes. If it doesn't do it in that time, your yeast is crap. Pour it down the sink. You can't make anything worth eating out of that.


Now, into a large bowl (preferably in a big food mixer, unless your arms need a workout), put


6 cups of flour
1 tablespoon of salt
4 tablespoons of oil

And pour the yeast water over it.

Now knead the ever-loving shit out of it.

If you are doing it in a mixer, you may need to do it in two batches so as not to overheat the motor.

If you are doing it by hand you may need a lie down afterwards.

It is, in theory, possible to over-knead, but chances are slim.

You want it to be totally smooth. Totally. And stretchy. There is a test called the window test to see if your dough is ready. I expect there's a You Tube video.

But you will know. It feels different. It feels alive.

By hand it takes at least 20 minutes. Faster by mixer.

When you are certain you have kneaded it enough, give it another 5 minutes. Even if it hurts.

(NOTE: This is why normal people go to bakeries)

Cover the bowl tightly with plastic wrap or if you are a dinosaur like me, with a big damp teatowel, or several layers of damp cheesecloth.

Leave it somewhere warm until it has doubled in size. Do not even bother until then. You can't rush this.

Now, shape it as you want it, bearing in mind it grows a bit more.

Leave it to rise again about 30 minutes, then brush with milk or butter if you like a shiny top, and bake in a pre-heated 400F/200C oven. About 20 minutes.

If you want garlic or onion on the top add that quickly and carefully after 10 minutes or it burns.

For naan, fry it instead.

TROUBLESHOOTER:

(AKA how to tell how you fucked up)

If it doesn't rise, i.e, it refuses to double in size after hours and hours, the room is probably too cold.
If it's sort of lumpy you didn't knead it properly.
If it has a yeasty flavour you didn't let it rise long enough. Read my instructions properly.
If it is dense, all of the above.

Remember, too much salt and not enough will both ruin bread, so that's your critical measurement.

Sometimes you need a little more or less water due to humidity (up to 1/2 cup difference in extreme weather). If it is too tough to knead at all right at the start, add 1/4 cup more water. If it's slooshy, add a little more flour. However, a soft dough won't harm the end product, it's just difficult to work with.

I'm told this works with wholewheat flour, but I don't like the taste, so I haven't bothered.

Served hot and buttered this is divine, and makes the perfect accompaniment to soups and stews.

Does not make good toast. If you have leftovers going stale, make it into breadcrumbs instead.

Scotch Eggs

Honestly thought I'd done these before but can't find it.

So, here's what you need:


For the sausage meat

1 kilo, more or less, of lean ground pork
2 tbls onion powder
1 tbls parsley
2 tsp thyme (ground)
2 tsp sage
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper

Then.

12 Hard-boiled eggs. Cold. Peeled. Dry.

Breadcrumbs. I prefer Italian breadcrumbs.

Beaten egg to stick the breadcrumbs on with.

Mix all the ingredients for the sausage meat together and divide into 12 slightly oval flat patties.

Wrap each egg in a sausage meat patty making sure you seal the joins well.

NOTE: At this point my cookery teacher told me to flour the eggs. I have never found it makes any difference, but you can if you want.

Dip eggs in beaten egg, then coat well in breadcrumbs.

You can bake these if you spritz them with oil, but far better results come from deep frying.

If you don't have a deep fryer they can be shallow fried if you move them around enough or THEY WILL STICK.

Fry until deep brown. Drain on paper towel.

Best served cold with Salad Cream AKA Heinz English Salad Dressing in North America.


VARIATIONS: Mess with the sausage seasonings.