I want everyone to be able to enjoy this delicious dish.
It's usually thought of as a quintessential English dish, but was actually invented by an Italian, its history is documented, and it's not even that old, less than 200 years old.
When I learned this I tried it with Italian sausage and I've never looked back. Where I live in Ontario you can't get a good English sausage for love nor money anyway, so, problem solved. You can use any sausage, and those with a herb flavour are wonderful, if you can obtain them.
Anyway, there are three steps that are vital to make this dish a success.
1. The right batter.
2. A HOT pan.
3. A HOT oven.
For this reason (all this heat) this is not a recipe suitable for children. Please bear that in mind.
OK, so pre-heating that oven is critical. Turn it up to HOT. If it isn't 100% clean it may even smoke as stuff burns off the inside, vent that out if need be, LOL. So for an electric oven you need it at 450F/230C.
While it heats up, arrange your sausages in a deep dish, such as a lasagne dish. Glass is easier to clean afterwards. Bake the sausages until they start to change colour. At this point THEY are hot. It's a good idea to place this on a larger oven tray just in case.
While the sausages cook, make your batter. Yorkshire pudding batter is all based on proportion by volume so you need a couple of measuring jugs. The following amount will be enough for four people over about half a dozen sausages.
Break 4 eggs into a cup, see where it measures to.
You will need the same amount of flour and the same amount of milk.
Put the flour and a pinch of salt in a bowl, and beat the eggs in well. Then beat the milk in slowly.
Now take your hot pan from the oven, run the fat from the sausages around the sides, then pour the batter in and put the whole thing back in the oven.
Do be careful with the instructions in italics there. It's very hot.
It is a matter of considerable argument among enthusiasts as to whether the oven should be turned down during the cooking time. I find that it can get too dark/crispy if you don't, so I give it 5 minutes to rise then I reduce the heat to 200C. It takes 20-30 minutres or so to cook depending on the size of the pan, but don't worry, it won't deflate if you open the door to check on it towards the end. It's the START that needs that punch of heat. So after 20 minutes, you can safely look, and you don't want to burn it.
Wednesday, 28 May 2014
Wednesday, 7 May 2014
How To Make Soup
Bizarre, I thought I'd already done this, but I can't find it, so here it is.
Soup is the most basic item of food you'll ever make. You can serve it as a lunch, a starter, a main course, whatever. You can use leftovers or you can buy fancy ingredients. None of this matters. Soup is a structural thing.
You need:
1. A BASE. That is to say, a blend of flavours that will work with anything. In classic French cookery this is a mirepoix. Cut up some onions (or leeks), some carrots, and some celery, and sauté them slowly/gently (i.e. low heat) in a fat of some sort (butter/oil/any old fat) until they are soft. Other cultures use different bases. Maybe peppers or garlic. Doesn't matter. You need something related to onions and a couple of other things. You can research/study this but you won't go far wrong with onion-carrot-celery, trust me.
2. LIQUID. This can be stock, or milk, or tomato juice, or any combination thereof. In theory it could be water if everything else is very flavourful, but you have to know what you are doing, so if you are a beginner USE STOCK. It can come from a stock cube, so don't panic. Just make sure that when you make it up it tastes fine AS IS.
3. The MAIN ELEMENT. This can be vegetables, or meat, or some of each, singly or in a mix. It could be just potato, or it could be a medley of all sorts. On Boxing Day, or the day after Thanksgiving I make soup from the leftovers. So, having done the above, I throw in turkey, roast potatoes, sprouts, carrots, peas, gravy, and even leftover cranberry sauce, bread, and stuffing. This is the beauty of soup. It can absorb anything. I have even thrown in leftover sausage rolls. You can literally make leftover soup from whatever is in your fridge. Or...in growing season you can get rid of all whatever glut you have.
4. SEASONING. Depending on your stock you may need to add salt. You will definitely benefit from a little pepper. Taste as you go. Herbs? Depends on what is in there. If it's tomato, then basil is good. If it's pork? Add sage. If it's chicken? Thyme or tarragon is good, etc. If you like it you can add spices, including curry spices (potato soup and curry spices are a marriage made in heaven.) Fish? YES FISH. Fish soup is amazing...add parsley. Etc. What do you normally add with this item?
5. THICKENING. If you are seeking a thick soup and your soup is runny, then add potato or flour. If you want to make it a main course soup you can add rice, pasta or something trendy like quinoa. These can be blended as can any/all of the above. If you add flour, stir it into a little cold liquid first or you may get lumps. Then add this mix while stirring.
That's it. That's soup. Any soup you ever enjoyed was made this way. Sure, you can use cream/yoghurt/sour cream at the end, or wine or vinegar to change the flavour, but this is basically it. Leftovers? They go in as #3.
Questions?
Soup is the most basic item of food you'll ever make. You can serve it as a lunch, a starter, a main course, whatever. You can use leftovers or you can buy fancy ingredients. None of this matters. Soup is a structural thing.
You need:
1. A BASE. That is to say, a blend of flavours that will work with anything. In classic French cookery this is a mirepoix. Cut up some onions (or leeks), some carrots, and some celery, and sauté them slowly/gently (i.e. low heat) in a fat of some sort (butter/oil/any old fat) until they are soft. Other cultures use different bases. Maybe peppers or garlic. Doesn't matter. You need something related to onions and a couple of other things. You can research/study this but you won't go far wrong with onion-carrot-celery, trust me.
2. LIQUID. This can be stock, or milk, or tomato juice, or any combination thereof. In theory it could be water if everything else is very flavourful, but you have to know what you are doing, so if you are a beginner USE STOCK. It can come from a stock cube, so don't panic. Just make sure that when you make it up it tastes fine AS IS.
3. The MAIN ELEMENT. This can be vegetables, or meat, or some of each, singly or in a mix. It could be just potato, or it could be a medley of all sorts. On Boxing Day, or the day after Thanksgiving I make soup from the leftovers. So, having done the above, I throw in turkey, roast potatoes, sprouts, carrots, peas, gravy, and even leftover cranberry sauce, bread, and stuffing. This is the beauty of soup. It can absorb anything. I have even thrown in leftover sausage rolls. You can literally make leftover soup from whatever is in your fridge. Or...in growing season you can get rid of all whatever glut you have.
4. SEASONING. Depending on your stock you may need to add salt. You will definitely benefit from a little pepper. Taste as you go. Herbs? Depends on what is in there. If it's tomato, then basil is good. If it's pork? Add sage. If it's chicken? Thyme or tarragon is good, etc. If you like it you can add spices, including curry spices (potato soup and curry spices are a marriage made in heaven.) Fish? YES FISH. Fish soup is amazing...add parsley. Etc. What do you normally add with this item?
5. THICKENING. If you are seeking a thick soup and your soup is runny, then add potato or flour. If you want to make it a main course soup you can add rice, pasta or something trendy like quinoa. These can be blended as can any/all of the above. If you add flour, stir it into a little cold liquid first or you may get lumps. Then add this mix while stirring.
That's it. That's soup. Any soup you ever enjoyed was made this way. Sure, you can use cream/yoghurt/sour cream at the end, or wine or vinegar to change the flavour, but this is basically it. Leftovers? They go in as #3.
Questions?
Tuesday, 8 April 2014
Lasagne
I often get corrected on my spelling, but I make lasagne, not lasagna. I have nothing against lasagna, but I met lasagne first, so that's what I make.
Lasagna originates in Italy, and although the version most people outside of Italy is slightly different, it's based on a recipe of a tomato-based sauce, usually with meat, and a soft cheese, interlayered with sheets of pasta.
On its travels from Italy lasagna went through France, where a different way of doing it arose. It got a new spelling, courtesy of the French, and then it travelled onwards to Britain. And, the big flat sheets of pasta were sold there in the 1970s with the French recipe on the box. Which was where we met, you see. That's where/when I learned to cook.
When I make lasagne for my Canadian friends, they seem to really enjoy it, and some have copied it for variety. So here's what we do in this house:
First we make a meat and tomato sauce, adding any vegetables we happen to have. For example last night we used green peppers and mushrooms. Zucchini is very good in this, as is spinach, but frankly you can use anything.
What Tom did last night was typical:
Brown ground beef, pour off the fat, add diced onions and garlic, green pepper and mushroom, sauté until veggies are tender then add tomato sauce (plain or flavoured, whatever you like) along with some black pepper, and Italian herbs. As its April and I don't do dried basil we also added some pesto. You can add a glass of red wine at this point, if you like.
Then make a fairly thick béchamel and add a goodly amount of grated cheese. Last night we used all old cheddar, but you can use a blend, and do include some parmesan or romano (we were out).
Layer so that you end up with the cheese sauce on the top and bake until it looks like this
ALWAYS make more than you need because something magical happens to leftover lasagne. When reheated for lunch the next day it's not just better but ten times better.
Opinions of what salad to serve with lasagne vary, but I prefer to serve a garden salad with no dressing. Yes, you heard me, no dressing. Lasagne is so rich I like that freshness to counteract it.
Lasagna originates in Italy, and although the version most people outside of Italy is slightly different, it's based on a recipe of a tomato-based sauce, usually with meat, and a soft cheese, interlayered with sheets of pasta.
On its travels from Italy lasagna went through France, where a different way of doing it arose. It got a new spelling, courtesy of the French, and then it travelled onwards to Britain. And, the big flat sheets of pasta were sold there in the 1970s with the French recipe on the box. Which was where we met, you see. That's where/when I learned to cook.
When I make lasagne for my Canadian friends, they seem to really enjoy it, and some have copied it for variety. So here's what we do in this house:
First we make a meat and tomato sauce, adding any vegetables we happen to have. For example last night we used green peppers and mushrooms. Zucchini is very good in this, as is spinach, but frankly you can use anything.
What Tom did last night was typical:
Brown ground beef, pour off the fat, add diced onions and garlic, green pepper and mushroom, sauté until veggies are tender then add tomato sauce (plain or flavoured, whatever you like) along with some black pepper, and Italian herbs. As its April and I don't do dried basil we also added some pesto. You can add a glass of red wine at this point, if you like.
Then make a fairly thick béchamel and add a goodly amount of grated cheese. Last night we used all old cheddar, but you can use a blend, and do include some parmesan or romano (we were out).
Layer so that you end up with the cheese sauce on the top and bake until it looks like this
ALWAYS make more than you need because something magical happens to leftover lasagne. When reheated for lunch the next day it's not just better but ten times better.
Opinions of what salad to serve with lasagne vary, but I prefer to serve a garden salad with no dressing. Yes, you heard me, no dressing. Lasagne is so rich I like that freshness to counteract it.
Saturday, 5 April 2014
Quiche
I can't believe I haven't already done this.
Anyway.....
Quiche is a staple food in my family, and we eat it year-round. I do mini quiches when I'm entertaining, in a muffin pan. You can too, but here I'm showing you regular pie-sized quiches.
Now the thing about quiche is that it doesn't matter what the filling is. You can use anything. Seafood is good, veggies are good, spicy sausage is good, etc etc.
But my default quiche is bacon, onion, mushroom, and tomato. As follows:
First you need a pastry crust. I have Tom, who makes the best pastry outside of France. You can make it, buy it pre-made, buy it frozen, or whatever, but you need a pastry case. Tip: roll it out slightly thicker than usual as the filling is runny to begin with.
Then add onion, we used a mixture of white, red, and green:
Bacon, partially cooked:
And now we need the substance of the thing, which is a custard of egg and milk, with salt and pepper to season. There is no absolute amount here, the object is to cover the other ingredients, just remember to use 3 eggs to every cup of milk. (But, cream is better, use any cream you have. If it's the thickest types, add another egg). DO NOT fill it right to the top. Egg rises.
Finally, top with tomato:
And put it in the oven (175C, 350F, I have no idea what that is in British gas). Cook until top is golden, and filling is set (test with a skewer). It will set a bit more as it cools, but don't take it out of the oven if it's still runny. It can take up to an hour, depending on how deep it is, but we cook 4 at a time, after 20 minutes we swap them around in the oven, top to bottom and vice versa. After 40 minutes, check for "doneness".
Quiche is intended to be served COLD, but I have family members who prefer it warm, so I humour them. I like it next day, fully cold, and served with a salad. It gets better with age, within reason, and I'm told it keeps for 5 days in the fridge, but it never lasts that long here.
Anyway.....
Quiche is a staple food in my family, and we eat it year-round. I do mini quiches when I'm entertaining, in a muffin pan. You can too, but here I'm showing you regular pie-sized quiches.
Now the thing about quiche is that it doesn't matter what the filling is. You can use anything. Seafood is good, veggies are good, spicy sausage is good, etc etc.
But my default quiche is bacon, onion, mushroom, and tomato. As follows:
First you need a pastry crust. I have Tom, who makes the best pastry outside of France. You can make it, buy it pre-made, buy it frozen, or whatever, but you need a pastry case. Tip: roll it out slightly thicker than usual as the filling is runny to begin with.
Use any type of pie dish you like:
The nest step is to fill it with whatever you like. I begin with cheese. When I say cheese I mean old cheddar, that's my default cheese:
Then add onion, we used a mixture of white, red, and green:
Bacon, partially cooked:
Mushrooms:
And now we need the substance of the thing, which is a custard of egg and milk, with salt and pepper to season. There is no absolute amount here, the object is to cover the other ingredients, just remember to use 3 eggs to every cup of milk. (But, cream is better, use any cream you have. If it's the thickest types, add another egg). DO NOT fill it right to the top. Egg rises.
Finally, top with tomato:
And put it in the oven (175C, 350F, I have no idea what that is in British gas). Cook until top is golden, and filling is set (test with a skewer). It will set a bit more as it cools, but don't take it out of the oven if it's still runny. It can take up to an hour, depending on how deep it is, but we cook 4 at a time, after 20 minutes we swap them around in the oven, top to bottom and vice versa. After 40 minutes, check for "doneness".
Quiche is intended to be served COLD, but I have family members who prefer it warm, so I humour them. I like it next day, fully cold, and served with a salad. It gets better with age, within reason, and I'm told it keeps for 5 days in the fridge, but it never lasts that long here.
Wednesday, 12 March 2014
Ratatouille
A friend needed a ratatouille recipe so I thought I'd do it here so I can share it again easily.
Ratatouille is a southern French vegetable stew. This is true peasant food, which means there is no single authoritative way to do it. Some people get very preachy about ingredients and methods, which I find rather silly. It's almost foolproof, you simply cook down the veggies until they are soft, it's probably the simplest thing you could make. You COULD just dump it all in a crockpot, it'd be perfectly edible. But it's better with a bit more care.
Here's how I do it, and the results are fantastic. Tweak to your heart's content.
I dice up equal parts of
Zucchini
Onions
Green Peppers
Red Peppers
Eggplant
And I fry them in a little olive oil, not too much (you don't want greasy veggies). You could grill them, or even bake them. You just want to brown them slightly, it brings out the flavour.
Then I add to this mixture enough diced/ground tomatoes (passata is fine, fresh is fine too, but do skin and core them first) to cover the rest of the veggies. You are looking for a stew texture.
Add as much garlic as you like, and herbs of your preference, such as basil, oregano, thyme, rosemary etc, I prefer to use fresh, but you can use dried (just don't use dried basil, that stuff should be banned, buy a basil plant, or a jar of pesto if you have to). A little salt and pepper.
This can be cooked in a saucepan, crockpot, or casserole. It takes quite a long time on a low heat, so if you want it for dinner, start prepping after lunch.
I serve it with fresh bread, and with a bit of cheddar cheese or parmesan grated on top. Cheese is absolutely the best finishing touch for this dish BUT, it's optional so this is a perfect dish for Vegans and those trying to lose weight. You use up more calories making and eating it than you get from it (hence the bread, under normal circumstances).
It can be spiced up and made into a vegetable curry.
It can be used instead of tomato sauce in a lasagne (with or without meat)
It is amazing with fish.
It is endlessly adaptable and always good. You will love it. Children love it. It's fantastic.
And now I want some......
Ratatouille is a southern French vegetable stew. This is true peasant food, which means there is no single authoritative way to do it. Some people get very preachy about ingredients and methods, which I find rather silly. It's almost foolproof, you simply cook down the veggies until they are soft, it's probably the simplest thing you could make. You COULD just dump it all in a crockpot, it'd be perfectly edible. But it's better with a bit more care.
Here's how I do it, and the results are fantastic. Tweak to your heart's content.
I dice up equal parts of
Zucchini
Onions
Green Peppers
Red Peppers
Eggplant
And I fry them in a little olive oil, not too much (you don't want greasy veggies). You could grill them, or even bake them. You just want to brown them slightly, it brings out the flavour.
Then I add to this mixture enough diced/ground tomatoes (passata is fine, fresh is fine too, but do skin and core them first) to cover the rest of the veggies. You are looking for a stew texture.
Add as much garlic as you like, and herbs of your preference, such as basil, oregano, thyme, rosemary etc, I prefer to use fresh, but you can use dried (just don't use dried basil, that stuff should be banned, buy a basil plant, or a jar of pesto if you have to). A little salt and pepper.
This can be cooked in a saucepan, crockpot, or casserole. It takes quite a long time on a low heat, so if you want it for dinner, start prepping after lunch.
I serve it with fresh bread, and with a bit of cheddar cheese or parmesan grated on top. Cheese is absolutely the best finishing touch for this dish BUT, it's optional so this is a perfect dish for Vegans and those trying to lose weight. You use up more calories making and eating it than you get from it (hence the bread, under normal circumstances).
It can be spiced up and made into a vegetable curry.
It can be used instead of tomato sauce in a lasagne (with or without meat)
It is amazing with fish.
It is endlessly adaptable and always good. You will love it. Children love it. It's fantastic.
And now I want some......
Wednesday, 22 January 2014
AGP
Also known as "Anything Goes" pasta. This is a last minute dish, which can include leftovers.
First cut everything up. A typical selection would be bacon, onions, green peppers, and leftover peas. Cook what needs to be cooked, all together, stiry fry style, and heat through any leftovers at the end. There are endless alternatives possible here, and I'll list some of those afterwards.
Meanwhile boil the pasta, and grate a generous amount of cheese. I use mostly cheddar with a little parmesan, but you can use mozarella if you want that stringy thing going on, or any cheese you have really. When the pasta is cooked, drain it, stir in a knob of butter, then the cheese. The knob of butter is vital, or the cheese will be lumpy. Add herbs or spices if desired.
Combine the stir fry with the cheesy pasta and serve.
Suitable meats include (but are not limited to) ground beef, ground pork, chopped up cooked roast meat, sausages, ham (fresh, leftover, canned, you name it), diced chicken or turkey, shrimp, and of course tuna or salmon.
Veggies include mushrooms, zucchini, green beans, canned beans, olives, corn kernels, peppers of any kind, including hot if you like them, brussels sprouts (yes really), broccoli, spinach, and more.
Many "named" pasta dishes are really versions of this.
A slightly fancier version is to make a cheese sauce instead of just melting cheese on the pasta.
First cut everything up. A typical selection would be bacon, onions, green peppers, and leftover peas. Cook what needs to be cooked, all together, stiry fry style, and heat through any leftovers at the end. There are endless alternatives possible here, and I'll list some of those afterwards.
Meanwhile boil the pasta, and grate a generous amount of cheese. I use mostly cheddar with a little parmesan, but you can use mozarella if you want that stringy thing going on, or any cheese you have really. When the pasta is cooked, drain it, stir in a knob of butter, then the cheese. The knob of butter is vital, or the cheese will be lumpy. Add herbs or spices if desired.
Combine the stir fry with the cheesy pasta and serve.
Suitable meats include (but are not limited to) ground beef, ground pork, chopped up cooked roast meat, sausages, ham (fresh, leftover, canned, you name it), diced chicken or turkey, shrimp, and of course tuna or salmon.
Veggies include mushrooms, zucchini, green beans, canned beans, olives, corn kernels, peppers of any kind, including hot if you like them, brussels sprouts (yes really), broccoli, spinach, and more.
Many "named" pasta dishes are really versions of this.
A slightly fancier version is to make a cheese sauce instead of just melting cheese on the pasta.
Thursday, 26 December 2013
Feed Me Well, Or Don't Feed Me At All
I have been strangely inspired to write by a friend's bad experience in a restaurant.
I eat out very rarely. Apart from it simply not being in the budget, it's neither necessary nor convenient. The closest decent restaurant is a 45 minute drive. When I do go out it's normally to visit friends, at their homes. So they cook. I work from home. I'm a good cook, my husband is a good cook, and my sons are good cooks. All in all, eating out is currently not a big thing in my life.
But if I do eat out I expect good food. And good service. I only eat fast food in extremis, and consequently, it's not cheap for us to eat out. When I'm spending $50-100 on a meal it'd bloody well better be good.
For a start I do not wish to eat something I could cook better myself. This applies to the vast majority of hot plain vegetables, BTW, so I hardly ever order them.
In fact, I really don't want to eat something I can cook myself anyway. I tend to chooses dishes that I wouldn't have at home. Unfortunately, I have had a taste of very fine cuisine and my standards are quite high.
Which is not to say I insist on posh food. Not at all. I love fish and chips and I'm perfectly content with a decent steak or even a really excellent burger.
The point is, whatever it is, it had better be good, it had better be served well, in an appropriate amount of time, and it had better not cost an arm and a leg. That is to say it should be worth what I pay for it.
I have voiced these views many times over the years, and usually people agree with me. When they don't it's normally because their lifestyle involves eating poor food out of necessity, i.e. business trips with insufficient expenses, long drives away from civilization, unpredictable hours, whatever. They suffer and suck it up.
Occasionally the objection I get is that I should be grateful I have enough to eat, as so many people in the world don't.
This is a very silly objection. If I were poor and starving I'd be grateful for a bowl of rice, and I'd probably enjoy it. When you are incredibly hungry some very ordinary things taste great.
But I'm not poor and starving. If I eat bad food it doesn't help the poor and starving. It doesn't help me either.
In fact as is common here in the decadent west, I'm financially comfortable and overfed. So it makes absolutely no sense for me to eat bad food. I will not starve if I reject something on the grounds of quality, and therefore I can sensibly do so.
There is no logic whatsoever in eating bad food. So I refuse to do so. I won't eat just because it's there. I don't need the calories. I won't eat just for something to do, and I certainly won't eat when I'm not actually hungry.
Now, then if in the situation that even though I am reasonably hungry, and I've travelled some distance to your restaurant, and you put bad food in front of me, I am not going to eat it. Because I'm paying for that. At least 5 times what it would have cost me to cook it at home. Which, generally speaking, as I said, with a few exceptions, I'm perfectly capable of.
Yes, I will return things. Yes, I will complain. Yes, I will refuse to pay. Yes, I'll get up and walk out if the service is too slow, or rude, or whatever. Done it before and will do it again.
There is absolutely no excuse for a restaurant to serve bad food. It's a purpose-built facility for cooking, with qualified staff.
I eat out very rarely. Apart from it simply not being in the budget, it's neither necessary nor convenient. The closest decent restaurant is a 45 minute drive. When I do go out it's normally to visit friends, at their homes. So they cook. I work from home. I'm a good cook, my husband is a good cook, and my sons are good cooks. All in all, eating out is currently not a big thing in my life.
But if I do eat out I expect good food. And good service. I only eat fast food in extremis, and consequently, it's not cheap for us to eat out. When I'm spending $50-100 on a meal it'd bloody well better be good.
For a start I do not wish to eat something I could cook better myself. This applies to the vast majority of hot plain vegetables, BTW, so I hardly ever order them.
In fact, I really don't want to eat something I can cook myself anyway. I tend to chooses dishes that I wouldn't have at home. Unfortunately, I have had a taste of very fine cuisine and my standards are quite high.
Which is not to say I insist on posh food. Not at all. I love fish and chips and I'm perfectly content with a decent steak or even a really excellent burger.
The point is, whatever it is, it had better be good, it had better be served well, in an appropriate amount of time, and it had better not cost an arm and a leg. That is to say it should be worth what I pay for it.
I have voiced these views many times over the years, and usually people agree with me. When they don't it's normally because their lifestyle involves eating poor food out of necessity, i.e. business trips with insufficient expenses, long drives away from civilization, unpredictable hours, whatever. They suffer and suck it up.
Occasionally the objection I get is that I should be grateful I have enough to eat, as so many people in the world don't.
This is a very silly objection. If I were poor and starving I'd be grateful for a bowl of rice, and I'd probably enjoy it. When you are incredibly hungry some very ordinary things taste great.
But I'm not poor and starving. If I eat bad food it doesn't help the poor and starving. It doesn't help me either.
In fact as is common here in the decadent west, I'm financially comfortable and overfed. So it makes absolutely no sense for me to eat bad food. I will not starve if I reject something on the grounds of quality, and therefore I can sensibly do so.
There is no logic whatsoever in eating bad food. So I refuse to do so. I won't eat just because it's there. I don't need the calories. I won't eat just for something to do, and I certainly won't eat when I'm not actually hungry.
Now, then if in the situation that even though I am reasonably hungry, and I've travelled some distance to your restaurant, and you put bad food in front of me, I am not going to eat it. Because I'm paying for that. At least 5 times what it would have cost me to cook it at home. Which, generally speaking, as I said, with a few exceptions, I'm perfectly capable of.
Yes, I will return things. Yes, I will complain. Yes, I will refuse to pay. Yes, I'll get up and walk out if the service is too slow, or rude, or whatever. Done it before and will do it again.
There is absolutely no excuse for a restaurant to serve bad food. It's a purpose-built facility for cooking, with qualified staff.
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