I can't believe I haven't posted this before!
This is my version of an Italian/Greek rustic bread. It should really be made with unbleached flour but good luck finding that. It's extremely versatile and easy and if you have it memorized as I do, and my son does too, it is almost second nature in this house.
I've used it to make loaves, buns, garlic bread, bruschetta, pizza base, breadsticks, and even cinnamon buns. With a slight tweak it makes a decent pita or naan too. You can add herbs or whatever and it is robust enough to make into cheese bread. It is NOT fluffy. If you like bread with the texture of polyester quilt batting, you need American bread. And it's not baguette, which is baked in a steam oven. This is the flavour that will remind you of fresh bread from dawn bakeries in the backstreets of the Mediterranean.
You need traditional dried yeast, not instant or fast rise or any of that.
Begin with:
2 cups hot tap water (you don't need to test the temperature, if it's too hot you won't want to put your finger in it)
4 tsp yeast
2 tsp sugar
Put this in a 4 cup measuring jug and leave it OUT OF A DRAFT in a warm place until the froth on the top is about an inch tall. Takes about 10 minutes. If it doesn't do it in that time, your yeast is crap. Pour it down the sink. You can't make anything worth eating out of that.
Now, into a large bowl (preferably in a big food mixer, unless your arms need a workout), put
6 cups of flour
1 tablespoon of salt
4 tablespoons of oil
And pour the yeast water over it.
Now knead the ever-loving shit out of it.
If you are doing it in a mixer, you may need to do it in two batches so as not to overheat the motor.
If you are doing it by hand you may need a lie down afterwards.
It is, in theory, possible to over-knead, but chances are slim.
You want it to be totally smooth. Totally. And stretchy. There is a test called the window test to see if your dough is ready. I expect there's a You Tube video.
But you will know. It feels different. It feels alive.
By hand it takes at least 20 minutes. Faster by mixer.
When you are certain you have kneaded it enough, give it another 5 minutes. Even if it hurts.
(NOTE: This is why normal people go to bakeries)
Cover the bowl tightly with plastic wrap or if you are a dinosaur like me, with a big damp teatowel, or several layers of damp cheesecloth.
Leave it somewhere warm until it has doubled in size. Do not even bother until then. You can't rush this.
Now, shape it as you want it, bearing in mind it grows a bit more.
Leave it to rise again about 30 minutes, then brush with milk or butter if you like a shiny top, and bake in a pre-heated 400F/200C oven. About 20 minutes.
If you want garlic or onion on the top add that quickly and carefully after 10 minutes or it burns.
For naan, fry it instead.
TROUBLESHOOTER:
(AKA how to tell how you fucked up)
If it doesn't rise, i.e, it refuses to double in size after hours and hours, the room is probably too cold.
If it's sort of lumpy you didn't knead it properly.
If it has a yeasty flavour you didn't let it rise long enough. Read my instructions properly.
If it is dense, all of the above.
Remember, too much salt and not enough will both ruin bread, so that's your critical measurement.
Sometimes you need a little more or less water due to humidity (up to 1/2 cup difference in extreme weather). If it is too tough to knead at all right at the start, add 1/4 cup more water. If it's slooshy, add a little more flour. However, a soft dough won't harm the end product, it's just difficult to work with.
I'm told this works with wholewheat flour, but I don't like the taste, so I haven't bothered.
Served hot and buttered this is divine, and makes the perfect accompaniment to soups and stews.
Does not make good toast. If you have leftovers going stale, make it into breadcrumbs instead.
Thursday, 7 November 2019
Thursday, 17 January 2019
Scotch Eggs
Honestly thought I'd done these before but can't find it.
So, here's what you need:
For the sausage meat
1 kilo, more or less, of lean ground pork
2 tbls onion powder
1 tbls parsley
2 tsp thyme (ground)
2 tsp sage
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
Then.
12 Hard-boiled eggs. Cold. Peeled. Dry.
Breadcrumbs. I prefer Italian breadcrumbs.
Beaten egg to stick the breadcrumbs on with.
Mix all the ingredients for the sausage meat together and divide into 12 slightly oval flat patties.
Wrap each egg in a sausage meat patty making sure you seal the joins well.
NOTE: At this point my cookery teacher told me to flour the eggs. I have never found it makes any difference, but you can if you want.
Dip eggs in beaten egg, then coat well in breadcrumbs.
You can bake these if you spritz them with oil, but far better results come from deep frying.
If you don't have a deep fryer they can be shallow fried if you move them around enough or THEY WILL STICK.
Fry until deep brown. Drain on paper towel.
Best served cold with Salad Cream AKA Heinz English Salad Dressing in North America.
VARIATIONS: Mess with the sausage seasonings.
So, here's what you need:
For the sausage meat
1 kilo, more or less, of lean ground pork
2 tbls onion powder
1 tbls parsley
2 tsp thyme (ground)
2 tsp sage
1 tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
Then.
12 Hard-boiled eggs. Cold. Peeled. Dry.
Breadcrumbs. I prefer Italian breadcrumbs.
Beaten egg to stick the breadcrumbs on with.
Mix all the ingredients for the sausage meat together and divide into 12 slightly oval flat patties.
Wrap each egg in a sausage meat patty making sure you seal the joins well.
NOTE: At this point my cookery teacher told me to flour the eggs. I have never found it makes any difference, but you can if you want.
Dip eggs in beaten egg, then coat well in breadcrumbs.
You can bake these if you spritz them with oil, but far better results come from deep frying.
If you don't have a deep fryer they can be shallow fried if you move them around enough or THEY WILL STICK.
Fry until deep brown. Drain on paper towel.
Best served cold with Salad Cream AKA Heinz English Salad Dressing in North America.
VARIATIONS: Mess with the sausage seasonings.
Tuesday, 11 September 2018
Pumpkin Spice
Unless you live in a yurt in Mongolia and live on mutton and vodka, you will have noticed that every year, for the last few years, at this time of year, everything is offered in pumpkin spice flavour. Some people love it and some people hate it, and some people point out that it's nobody else's business, which is quite true. I fully agree that if it makes you happy, go for it. If not, buy something else, and shut up. But it annoys me, and you're going to hear why.
There is no such thing as pumpkin spice. It falls in the same category as spaghetti sauce. It even falls in the same category as hamburger soup. Or bruschetta in a jar. Or chicken fried steak. Or...if we are going to be REALLY pedantic...casserole.
I get into trouble for mentioning these things, but I have a "thing" for language, and I hate it when trends mess about with the clarity of language.
"Oh, everyone knows what it means Melanie, you damn pedant..."
Probably. Yep. But that doesn't stop it annoying me.
Not in a tearing my hair out way. Not in a shouting at people way. Just in a "I would roll my eyes, but it hurts" sorta way.
So here we have a pumpkin, Is it spicy? No. Actually it tastes of hardly anything really. For that reason, when people eat it, they add other flavours. These include such spices as cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, occasionally allspice.
These are the same flavours used in traditional fruit cake, and in Spanish bar cake, and often in carrot cake, and in HALF THE DISHES MADE IN ASIA. They do not belong to pumpkin. They don't even come from the same part of the world as pumpkin.
They are simply associated with pumpkin pie.
Therefore the name for these seasonal foods would more accurately be "pumpkin pie flavour" or "warm spice blend". Or the truth - "nutmeg". But no, we couldn't possibly do that.
So, I shall fight back.
Seeing as cream is most often used in coffee, in future I shall insist that cream be named "coffee topping", no matter where or how it is used. Ice cream will be "frozen coffee topping".
Gravy will be re-named "potato sauce".
Pureed tomatoes will be no longer be passata, but instead called "pizza juice". Pepperoni will be "pizza meat".
Due to the ubiquitous use of sliced cheese in North American sandwiches, all sliced cheese will be called "sandwich sheets", except processed cheese which will be "burger sheets".
Salt will be "soup sprinkles" and pepper will be "steak sprinkles".
Yoghurt will in future be known as "tzatziki base", and mayo will be "tuna binder".
Eggs will have new names according to how they are cooked. Sunny side up will be replaced with "hashbrown dip", and hard boiled eggs will be known as "salad crumbles".
Sour cream will obviously be "fajita tamer", and guacamole will be "taco soother".
I think this should make it FAR easier for overseas visitors to understand our food here.
There is no such thing as pumpkin spice. It falls in the same category as spaghetti sauce. It even falls in the same category as hamburger soup. Or bruschetta in a jar. Or chicken fried steak. Or...if we are going to be REALLY pedantic...casserole.
"Oh, everyone knows what it means Melanie, you damn pedant..."
Probably. Yep. But that doesn't stop it annoying me.
Not in a tearing my hair out way. Not in a shouting at people way. Just in a "I would roll my eyes, but it hurts" sorta way.
So here we have a pumpkin, Is it spicy? No. Actually it tastes of hardly anything really. For that reason, when people eat it, they add other flavours. These include such spices as cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, occasionally allspice.
These are the same flavours used in traditional fruit cake, and in Spanish bar cake, and often in carrot cake, and in HALF THE DISHES MADE IN ASIA. They do not belong to pumpkin. They don't even come from the same part of the world as pumpkin.
They are simply associated with pumpkin pie.
Therefore the name for these seasonal foods would more accurately be "pumpkin pie flavour" or "warm spice blend". Or the truth - "nutmeg". But no, we couldn't possibly do that.
So, I shall fight back.
Seeing as cream is most often used in coffee, in future I shall insist that cream be named "coffee topping", no matter where or how it is used. Ice cream will be "frozen coffee topping".
Gravy will be re-named "potato sauce".
Pureed tomatoes will be no longer be passata, but instead called "pizza juice". Pepperoni will be "pizza meat".
Due to the ubiquitous use of sliced cheese in North American sandwiches, all sliced cheese will be called "sandwich sheets", except processed cheese which will be "burger sheets".
Salt will be "soup sprinkles" and pepper will be "steak sprinkles".
Yoghurt will in future be known as "tzatziki base", and mayo will be "tuna binder".
Eggs will have new names according to how they are cooked. Sunny side up will be replaced with "hashbrown dip", and hard boiled eggs will be known as "salad crumbles".
Sour cream will obviously be "fajita tamer", and guacamole will be "taco soother".
I think this should make it FAR easier for overseas visitors to understand our food here.
Monday, 3 April 2017
Comfort Food
For years when people asked me what my comfort food was I told them Chinese Take Out.
I thought that was my answer. So I answered it thusly.
Then I got asked why I found that comforting?
HUH?
No, no, you wanted to know what my comfort food was. And comfort food means stuff you remember from childhood, right?
Wrong.
Think about it Melanie, not everything you had in childhood was enjoyable, or enjoyed indeed.
Well, I was a bit spoiled, so I was never really given food I didn't like.
So, if you like, everything I had a as a child was comfort food.
No, you aren't getting it, it's a specific thing associated with happy memories.
Well, you've got me there then. All my childhood memories are happy memories. Not that I associate food with any of them.
So, off I went on a different tack.
Comfort. I know what comfort is, it's the opposite of discomfort.
Therefore it's food I enjoy. That's a long list.
No, you're still not getting it, it's food that makes you feel good.
I only eat food that makes me feel good. Why the fuck would I eat food that doesn't make me feel good?
You're being difficult.
I'm being honest.
You know very well what comfort means.
Actually, I'm not sure that I do. I thought I did. This chair is comfortable. It doesn't hurt. This shirt is comfortable, it's not too tight and it has no itchy label! So comfortable doesn't mean that?
No, you're really being difficult, I'm annoyed now.
Hey, you started this. Not me.
Maybe I just have a different approach to pleasure and non-pleasure. I'm all for pleasure. It feels like sanity.
But too much pleasure can be pain. That's why I don't over-eat. That makes me uncomfortable. I hear about people who say "Oh God, I'm so stuffed". That isn't pleasant. That's fucking stupid. So I don't do it. Sorry about the logic, but I don't like being uncomfortable. Same applies to everything. Tight shoes are uncomfortable so I don't wear them. Hats are uncomfortable so I don't wear them. Long sleeves annoy me so unless I'm freezing, I wear short sleeves or push my sleeves up. I could come up with a really, really long list of things that are uncomfortable, aka things I avoid. And if I'm cold, I'm very uncomfortable. So I avoid being cold. Yes, I'm like that.
And as for food, I simply don't eat food that isn't delicious. Why would I?
Listen, I am overweight. I'm not a barrel but I'm a lot fatter than I need to be. It's genetics and there's fuck all I can do about it other than starve myself, and that's not going to happen. See comments on pleasure.
At the same time, I don't NEED extra calories. I'm not starving, I don't have any need to eat "whatever - it's food". So, I don't eat things I don't enjoy. This seems logical to me. If all that is available is not delicious, I will just skip eating. I have fat reserves. Trust me, I'll be fine. If the bun on the burger is nasty (they mostly are) I'll just eat the fillings. If the pizza crust is plain (usually) I'll leave it.
So, as I have meandered into that topic, I may as well continue. Here's what I eat on a typical day.
For breakfast on weekdays I have half a grapefruit, a slice of toast (buttered), and two egg yolks. And a glass of water. Not juice. I'm not a juice lover. If you put a glass of orange or grapefruit juice in front of me (no other) I'd drink it, but I don't bother. I don't drink milk, I don't drink coffee or tea. Give me water. Yes, cold. Yes, first thing in the morning. Because that's what I enjoy. (On weekends, add a sausage. To the meal - not to the water, silly.)
This requires more detail due to the topic at hand. I have my grapefruit without sugar added, because I have an underdeveloped sweet tooth. This is therefore a very health conscious way to start the day. BWHAHAHA. No. I eat it because I enjoy it. If I didn't enjoy it, I wouldn't eat it, and if I had a sweet tooth, I'd add sugar.
I have my toast buttered because there's no fucking way in hell I am eating unbuttered toast. And I insist it is buttered all the way to the edges. And I don't eat the heel of the loaf because I don't like it. And I eat only the egg yolks because I don't like the white. (Are you getting the idea yet?)
These are fried eggs. It doesn't matter that they are fried BTW, oh judgemental reader, because the yolk doesn't come in contact with the fat it's cooked in. Sunny side up (still runny, just how I like it).
For lunch I have a wrap. Tortilla, chipotle mayo, some meat or fish, cheese, and whatever veggies are available. If we're out of tortillas I have a sandwich. I could just have a salad, and sometimes I do, but I'm not going to turn into a supermodel from one less tortilla a day, so fuck it.
For dinner I have whatever. A small portion - I don't have a large appetite. A child size portion is fine. I like my plate to be 50% veggies. That's preference, not virtue. No dessert. I don't bother with dessert.
I don't snack.
To re-cap.
I refuse to eat less than this. I don't consider it excessive, actually.
I remain overweight.
Therefore, as I clearly don't need the calories, eating things I don't enjoy is illogical.
And I have no intention of not enjoying my food by taking out all the good bits (butter, cheese, meat, mayo).
QED: EVERY FUCKING THING I EAT IS COMFORT FOOD. It keeps me comfortable. Not hungry and not stuffed. Comfortable.
I am not stupid. I know that's not what it means. I just don't do comfort the way you do comfort. You do it your way, I'm fine.
I thought that was my answer. So I answered it thusly.
Then I got asked why I found that comforting?
HUH?
No, no, you wanted to know what my comfort food was. And comfort food means stuff you remember from childhood, right?
Wrong.
Think about it Melanie, not everything you had in childhood was enjoyable, or enjoyed indeed.
Well, I was a bit spoiled, so I was never really given food I didn't like.
So, if you like, everything I had a as a child was comfort food.
No, you aren't getting it, it's a specific thing associated with happy memories.
Well, you've got me there then. All my childhood memories are happy memories. Not that I associate food with any of them.
So, off I went on a different tack.
Comfort. I know what comfort is, it's the opposite of discomfort.
Therefore it's food I enjoy. That's a long list.
No, you're still not getting it, it's food that makes you feel good.
I only eat food that makes me feel good. Why the fuck would I eat food that doesn't make me feel good?
You're being difficult.
I'm being honest.
You know very well what comfort means.
Actually, I'm not sure that I do. I thought I did. This chair is comfortable. It doesn't hurt. This shirt is comfortable, it's not too tight and it has no itchy label! So comfortable doesn't mean that?
No, you're really being difficult, I'm annoyed now.
Hey, you started this. Not me.
Maybe I just have a different approach to pleasure and non-pleasure. I'm all for pleasure. It feels like sanity.
But too much pleasure can be pain. That's why I don't over-eat. That makes me uncomfortable. I hear about people who say "Oh God, I'm so stuffed". That isn't pleasant. That's fucking stupid. So I don't do it. Sorry about the logic, but I don't like being uncomfortable. Same applies to everything. Tight shoes are uncomfortable so I don't wear them. Hats are uncomfortable so I don't wear them. Long sleeves annoy me so unless I'm freezing, I wear short sleeves or push my sleeves up. I could come up with a really, really long list of things that are uncomfortable, aka things I avoid. And if I'm cold, I'm very uncomfortable. So I avoid being cold. Yes, I'm like that.
And as for food, I simply don't eat food that isn't delicious. Why would I?
Listen, I am overweight. I'm not a barrel but I'm a lot fatter than I need to be. It's genetics and there's fuck all I can do about it other than starve myself, and that's not going to happen. See comments on pleasure.
At the same time, I don't NEED extra calories. I'm not starving, I don't have any need to eat "whatever - it's food". So, I don't eat things I don't enjoy. This seems logical to me. If all that is available is not delicious, I will just skip eating. I have fat reserves. Trust me, I'll be fine. If the bun on the burger is nasty (they mostly are) I'll just eat the fillings. If the pizza crust is plain (usually) I'll leave it.
So, as I have meandered into that topic, I may as well continue. Here's what I eat on a typical day.
For breakfast on weekdays I have half a grapefruit, a slice of toast (buttered), and two egg yolks. And a glass of water. Not juice. I'm not a juice lover. If you put a glass of orange or grapefruit juice in front of me (no other) I'd drink it, but I don't bother. I don't drink milk, I don't drink coffee or tea. Give me water. Yes, cold. Yes, first thing in the morning. Because that's what I enjoy. (On weekends, add a sausage. To the meal - not to the water, silly.)
This requires more detail due to the topic at hand. I have my grapefruit without sugar added, because I have an underdeveloped sweet tooth. This is therefore a very health conscious way to start the day. BWHAHAHA. No. I eat it because I enjoy it. If I didn't enjoy it, I wouldn't eat it, and if I had a sweet tooth, I'd add sugar.
I have my toast buttered because there's no fucking way in hell I am eating unbuttered toast. And I insist it is buttered all the way to the edges. And I don't eat the heel of the loaf because I don't like it. And I eat only the egg yolks because I don't like the white. (Are you getting the idea yet?)
These are fried eggs. It doesn't matter that they are fried BTW, oh judgemental reader, because the yolk doesn't come in contact with the fat it's cooked in. Sunny side up (still runny, just how I like it).
For lunch I have a wrap. Tortilla, chipotle mayo, some meat or fish, cheese, and whatever veggies are available. If we're out of tortillas I have a sandwich. I could just have a salad, and sometimes I do, but I'm not going to turn into a supermodel from one less tortilla a day, so fuck it.
For dinner I have whatever. A small portion - I don't have a large appetite. A child size portion is fine. I like my plate to be 50% veggies. That's preference, not virtue. No dessert. I don't bother with dessert.
I don't snack.
To re-cap.
I refuse to eat less than this. I don't consider it excessive, actually.
I remain overweight.
Therefore, as I clearly don't need the calories, eating things I don't enjoy is illogical.
And I have no intention of not enjoying my food by taking out all the good bits (butter, cheese, meat, mayo).
QED: EVERY FUCKING THING I EAT IS COMFORT FOOD. It keeps me comfortable. Not hungry and not stuffed. Comfortable.
I am not stupid. I know that's not what it means. I just don't do comfort the way you do comfort. You do it your way, I'm fine.
Why I Don't Make Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
When I was a young newly married woman in the early 80s I bought a toasted sandwich maker. It was all the rage, and it sounded exciting, so I thought I'd give it a try. What's not to like, after all? I loved cheese on toast but this was a bit different. Why not.
The end result was pleasant enough. And then I tried adding other ingredients. I experimented for about a week then lost interest and the thing languished in the back of a cupboard for years until I threw it out. It wouldn't be the last gimmicky small appliance I'd ever buy, but that was the story of the toasted sandwich maker.
In 1993 we came to live in Canada, and shortly after that I got a babysitting job for a child in my younger daughter's class at school. It was before and after school, but obviously on days when there was no school I had her all day. Her mother told me she was picky but easy to feed. Just make her a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. I told her that I didn't have a grilled sandwich maker, but I'd be happy to give her cheese on toast.
We both looked at each other blankly.
I was then instructed on the art of a standard North American grilled cheese sandwich. It wasn't difficult, but it seemed a bit odd. For a start it was fried, not grilled. And for this child the filling was processed cheese slices. And she ate it.
That was the only time I made them for years. For my own family I made cheese on toast. Far less work.
Internet years arrived. I learned that it was actually normal, common, and popular to make grilled cheese sandwiches in North America. Well, fried cheese sandwiches really. On a couple of occasions I decided to give it another go, but frankly, it just wasn't worth it. Cheese on toast has a much higher cheese to bread ratio (i.e. this is better) and is less effort. I could see no advantage to the grilled cheese sandwich whatsoever. More work, less cheese. Nope.
Then people started to tell me about eating it with soup. I had heard of having soup and a sandwich before, apparently a popular lunch option. Well, two lunches really. At first I assumed it was two courses, but then I learned it was served together. This confused me. I couldn't quite picture it. Did you dip the sandwich in the soup? Or did you double fist it? Spoon in one hand, sandwich in the other? Whatever, too complicated. Sandwich for lunch, fine. Soup for lunch, fine. BOTH...sounds like too much food anyway. I'm sure it would be great for a working man, but I don't need two lunches.
But to COOK a sandwich and heat up soup too? FOR LUNCH? Geez. Well, clearly many people make far more effort for lunch than I do. For me it's a quick snack. There is no way in hell I'm cooking two things at that point in the day. If I feel like eating cheese and toasted bread I have cheese on toast. I have absolutely nothing against grilled cheese sandwiches. I just don't have a use for them. If you make me one, I'll eat it, and I'm sure I'll enjoy it, but it's just not something I make.
(I've also learned that some people eat chips with their sandwiches. It's a nice touch on a special occasion, but daily? There's another blog post right there, but I can't.)
Then, I heard of people having this for dinner. And I gave up.
It is none of my business what other people eat. That has been made very clear. OK. Unfortunately this doesn't work the other way around. It is perfectly acceptable to question or berate me on my food options. Hey, it's fine. So, now you know, this is why I don't make grilled cheese sandwiches.
The end result was pleasant enough. And then I tried adding other ingredients. I experimented for about a week then lost interest and the thing languished in the back of a cupboard for years until I threw it out. It wouldn't be the last gimmicky small appliance I'd ever buy, but that was the story of the toasted sandwich maker.
In 1993 we came to live in Canada, and shortly after that I got a babysitting job for a child in my younger daughter's class at school. It was before and after school, but obviously on days when there was no school I had her all day. Her mother told me she was picky but easy to feed. Just make her a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. I told her that I didn't have a grilled sandwich maker, but I'd be happy to give her cheese on toast.
We both looked at each other blankly.
I was then instructed on the art of a standard North American grilled cheese sandwich. It wasn't difficult, but it seemed a bit odd. For a start it was fried, not grilled. And for this child the filling was processed cheese slices. And she ate it.
That was the only time I made them for years. For my own family I made cheese on toast. Far less work.
Internet years arrived. I learned that it was actually normal, common, and popular to make grilled cheese sandwiches in North America. Well, fried cheese sandwiches really. On a couple of occasions I decided to give it another go, but frankly, it just wasn't worth it. Cheese on toast has a much higher cheese to bread ratio (i.e. this is better) and is less effort. I could see no advantage to the grilled cheese sandwich whatsoever. More work, less cheese. Nope.
Then people started to tell me about eating it with soup. I had heard of having soup and a sandwich before, apparently a popular lunch option. Well, two lunches really. At first I assumed it was two courses, but then I learned it was served together. This confused me. I couldn't quite picture it. Did you dip the sandwich in the soup? Or did you double fist it? Spoon in one hand, sandwich in the other? Whatever, too complicated. Sandwich for lunch, fine. Soup for lunch, fine. BOTH...sounds like too much food anyway. I'm sure it would be great for a working man, but I don't need two lunches.
But to COOK a sandwich and heat up soup too? FOR LUNCH? Geez. Well, clearly many people make far more effort for lunch than I do. For me it's a quick snack. There is no way in hell I'm cooking two things at that point in the day. If I feel like eating cheese and toasted bread I have cheese on toast. I have absolutely nothing against grilled cheese sandwiches. I just don't have a use for them. If you make me one, I'll eat it, and I'm sure I'll enjoy it, but it's just not something I make.
(I've also learned that some people eat chips with their sandwiches. It's a nice touch on a special occasion, but daily? There's another blog post right there, but I can't.)
Then, I heard of people having this for dinner. And I gave up.
It is none of my business what other people eat. That has been made very clear. OK. Unfortunately this doesn't work the other way around. It is perfectly acceptable to question or berate me on my food options. Hey, it's fine. So, now you know, this is why I don't make grilled cheese sandwiches.
Wednesday, 29 March 2017
Follow The Fucking Recipe
Inspired by a friend this morning. This blog was created to share recipes, although I hereby confess:
a) I haven't exactly used it very much, and
b) Much of what I write is more of a guideline than a code (said in pirate voice)
But I want to talk about recipes.
Once upon a time recipes came in two forms and we knew the difference. They either came in books - collections of recipes by established cookery writers, tested and checked by a team of people, edited, professionally photographed and published - or they came on the back of envelopes in the handwriting of an elderly relative, with thumbprints and jam on it over time. And we trusted the latter more.
These days we find them mainly on the internet but we can never be quite sure which are worthy or not until we try them. It's a bit of a crap shoot. Because of this, there's usually some feedback involved. Reviews or comments, where people before us have tried them out.
Some of these are very helpful.
"I found this very sweet, and adjusted the honey down to one tablespoonful the next time. It was better, even my children thought so."
Or
"Yield says 2 dozen, but if you fill the cups to the top as directed you will only get 18"
Fair enough. Practical suggestions by sensible people.
Alas. Not everyone who takes part is altogether.......right in the head. My friend found one comment from a woman who objected to creamed corn because she's lactose intolerant. You can't help some people.
But what pisses me off is this:
"I followed this recipe except that I had no ground beef so I used a can of tuna, and I can't eat gluten so I substituted rice for the breadcrumbs, and I don't like spice, so I left that out, and it was really horrible. Bad recipe."
Over the years, I have discovered that people do this stuff a LOT.
I share a recipe, get told it doesn't "work" and then I dig a bit deeper.
"Did you follow the instructions?"
"Well, yes...mostly"
"MOSTLY?"
"I didn't leave it to rise quite as long as it said because I ran out of time...."
Well, that's why it didn't work.
Some years ago a friend asked for my lasagne recipe, which I duly provided. She said it was runny. Turns out that to get the last of the tomato sauce out of the can she filled it with water, swooshed it around, AND THEN ADDED THAT. But apparently this was a long-standing habit. Another friend told me that everything she cooked had a bland, watery taste because of her practice of doing this sort of thing. I suggested she stop doing it with every ounce of tact I could muster, and not only did she look at me like I'd grown an extra head, she said "I'm just being frugal". There's REALLY no helping some people.
But she isn't rare. No.
Almost every single time that somebody has complained about a recipe I've given them, when we get into a conversation about it I discover they did not follow it. In some way or other they changed it. Either more or less of an ingredient, or a substitution, or a step they didn't follow. They deny changing anything, but sooner or later confess they did. And then when I say "AHA!" they make an excuse.
It may seem like a minor detail (use a pre-heated pan to make Yorkshire Pudding) but it's not. If it says do this, then do it, There is a reason why it is in the recipe. Recipes are not merely guidelines unless you really, really know what you are doing.
And some changes matter more than others. If you use chicken instead of turkey, or vice versa, you'll hardly notice, quite frankly. But you can't use dandelions instead of basil, even though they are both green leaves.
Here's some "authorized" substitutions:
http://dish.allrecipes.com/common-ingredient-substitutions/
And don't forget that when baking, i.e. bread, cookies, and cakes etc., proportions can be critical. You can faff about with the stew but follow the brownie recipe to the letter. Even the size of an egg can make a huge difference.
If you struggle with this stuff, experienced cooks are always willing to help.
But we get frustrated with you if you lie to us about following recipes.....so stop it.
a) I haven't exactly used it very much, and
b) Much of what I write is more of a guideline than a code (said in pirate voice)
But I want to talk about recipes.
Once upon a time recipes came in two forms and we knew the difference. They either came in books - collections of recipes by established cookery writers, tested and checked by a team of people, edited, professionally photographed and published - or they came on the back of envelopes in the handwriting of an elderly relative, with thumbprints and jam on it over time. And we trusted the latter more.
These days we find them mainly on the internet but we can never be quite sure which are worthy or not until we try them. It's a bit of a crap shoot. Because of this, there's usually some feedback involved. Reviews or comments, where people before us have tried them out.
Some of these are very helpful.
"I found this very sweet, and adjusted the honey down to one tablespoonful the next time. It was better, even my children thought so."
Or
"Yield says 2 dozen, but if you fill the cups to the top as directed you will only get 18"
Fair enough. Practical suggestions by sensible people.
Alas. Not everyone who takes part is altogether.......right in the head. My friend found one comment from a woman who objected to creamed corn because she's lactose intolerant. You can't help some people.
But what pisses me off is this:
"I followed this recipe except that I had no ground beef so I used a can of tuna, and I can't eat gluten so I substituted rice for the breadcrumbs, and I don't like spice, so I left that out, and it was really horrible. Bad recipe."
Over the years, I have discovered that people do this stuff a LOT.
I share a recipe, get told it doesn't "work" and then I dig a bit deeper.
"Did you follow the instructions?"
"Well, yes...mostly"
"MOSTLY?"
"I didn't leave it to rise quite as long as it said because I ran out of time...."
Well, that's why it didn't work.
Some years ago a friend asked for my lasagne recipe, which I duly provided. She said it was runny. Turns out that to get the last of the tomato sauce out of the can she filled it with water, swooshed it around, AND THEN ADDED THAT. But apparently this was a long-standing habit. Another friend told me that everything she cooked had a bland, watery taste because of her practice of doing this sort of thing. I suggested she stop doing it with every ounce of tact I could muster, and not only did she look at me like I'd grown an extra head, she said "I'm just being frugal". There's REALLY no helping some people.
But she isn't rare. No.
Almost every single time that somebody has complained about a recipe I've given them, when we get into a conversation about it I discover they did not follow it. In some way or other they changed it. Either more or less of an ingredient, or a substitution, or a step they didn't follow. They deny changing anything, but sooner or later confess they did. And then when I say "AHA!" they make an excuse.
It may seem like a minor detail (use a pre-heated pan to make Yorkshire Pudding) but it's not. If it says do this, then do it, There is a reason why it is in the recipe. Recipes are not merely guidelines unless you really, really know what you are doing.
And some changes matter more than others. If you use chicken instead of turkey, or vice versa, you'll hardly notice, quite frankly. But you can't use dandelions instead of basil, even though they are both green leaves.
Here's some "authorized" substitutions:
http://dish.allrecipes.com/common-ingredient-substitutions/
And don't forget that when baking, i.e. bread, cookies, and cakes etc., proportions can be critical. You can faff about with the stew but follow the brownie recipe to the letter. Even the size of an egg can make a huge difference.
If you struggle with this stuff, experienced cooks are always willing to help.
But we get frustrated with you if you lie to us about following recipes.....so stop it.
Tuesday, 13 December 2016
Cranberry Granola Bar
Not all recipes you find online actually work out. This one turned out PERFECT. N.B. We didn't use non-stick cooking spray, I don't trust that stuff. We used butter.
Cranberry Granola Bar
16 bars
2 c. old-fashioned oats
½ c. honey
½ c. vegetable oil
2 tbsp. water
2 large egg whites
2 tbsp. packed light brown sugar
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
½ tsp. salt
¾ c. wheat germ
¾ c. chopped walnuts
¾ c. dried cranberries
2 c. old-fashioned oats
½ c. honey
½ c. vegetable oil
2 tbsp. water
2 large egg whites
2 tbsp. packed light brown sugar
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
½ tsp. salt
¾ c. wheat germ
¾ c. chopped walnuts
¾ c. dried cranberries
Directions
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Spray 13- by 9-inch metal baking pan with nonstick cooking spray.
Line pan with foil, leaving 2-inch overhang; spray foil.
Spread 2 cups old-fashioned oats on plate; microwave on high, in 1-minute intervals, 4 to 5 minutes or until fragrant and golden, stirring occasionally.
Let cool. In large bowl, whisk honey, vegetable oil, water, egg whites, light brown sugar, ground cinnamon, and 1/2 teaspoon salt until well blended.
Fold in oats and toasted wheat germ, chopped walnuts, and dried cranberries; transfer to prepared pan.
Using wet hands, press into even layer.
Bake 28 to 30 minutes or until golden.
Cool in pan on wire rack. Using foil, transfer to cutting board; cut into 16 bars.
Store in airtight container at room temperature up to 4 days or freeze up to 1 month.
Friday, 1 April 2016
Johnny Depp Naked
I realise this is not for all tastes, but some of you are diehard fans. Yes, even those of you who claim not to be. So get your magnifying glass out.
As you can see, this was actually a test of the Facebook notification system, to see if my posts are being seen by my friends. If you can see this (no, you can't see THAT, far too small) please reply, ON FACEBOOK, something like "WOW" or "Dear God" or whatever. Don't spoil it.
Thank you for your time and attention.
As you can see, this was actually a test of the Facebook notification system, to see if my posts are being seen by my friends. If you can see this (no, you can't see THAT, far too small) please reply, ON FACEBOOK, something like "WOW" or "Dear God" or whatever. Don't spoil it.
Thank you for your time and attention.
Monday, 27 July 2015
The Strawberry Bed
As I've been neglecting this blog (too much doing, not enough recording for posterity) and I have a lot of photos of this small project, this seems the best way to do it.
I grew strawberry plants from seed*, and they did well, so I needed somewhere to put them. We had an old raised bed from years ago that was totally lost to weeds, so I decided that was the place, but I hadn't reckoned on the weeds having other ideas.
It was a thatch of vetch and grass, and despite soaking it for several hours, I couldn't get the bloody weeds out.
So, I discussed it on Facbook as I planned to smother the weeds. I got some good advice from friends who'd tackled similar challenges.
The first suggestion was before doing anything to cut the weeds right down. I don't know why I hadn't thought of that myself, but actually that became step 1.
Which was a lot of hard work, as you can imagine.
OK, maybe not. Martin did it with the weed whacker. Once he had you could really see what we were up against.
There was literally a mat of roots.
The next suggestion was to cover this with newspaper rather than my idea of landscaping fabric. The thing was I had no newspaper, but I did have landscaping fabric. Then somebody said cardboard...so that's what I did.
I opened up boxes and filled in the gaps with other bits.
Then we filled it with soil. OK, Martin did.
And finally I planted the strawberries and watered them in.
This is the end - or the beginning , depending on which way you go - of our new "fruit walk". Fruit bushes and trees are going along both sides of a path through the wildflower meadow, along the back of the pond. I'll show you all the steps in this ongoing project.
*My latest "thing" is growing everything from seed.
I grew strawberry plants from seed*, and they did well, so I needed somewhere to put them. We had an old raised bed from years ago that was totally lost to weeds, so I decided that was the place, but I hadn't reckoned on the weeds having other ideas.
It was a thatch of vetch and grass, and despite soaking it for several hours, I couldn't get the bloody weeds out.
So, I discussed it on Facbook as I planned to smother the weeds. I got some good advice from friends who'd tackled similar challenges.
The first suggestion was before doing anything to cut the weeds right down. I don't know why I hadn't thought of that myself, but actually that became step 1.
Which was a lot of hard work, as you can imagine.
OK, maybe not. Martin did it with the weed whacker. Once he had you could really see what we were up against.
There was literally a mat of roots.
The next suggestion was to cover this with newspaper rather than my idea of landscaping fabric. The thing was I had no newspaper, but I did have landscaping fabric. Then somebody said cardboard...so that's what I did.
I opened up boxes and filled in the gaps with other bits.
Then we filled it with soil. OK, Martin did.
And finally I planted the strawberries and watered them in.
This is the end - or the beginning , depending on which way you go - of our new "fruit walk". Fruit bushes and trees are going along both sides of a path through the wildflower meadow, along the back of the pond. I'll show you all the steps in this ongoing project.
*My latest "thing" is growing everything from seed.
Thursday, 19 March 2015
What The Phok?
When we are talking about likes and dislikes in food, inevitably I get called picky. I'm not actually any pickier than anyone else, it's just that the the things I won't eat tend to be very specific (I'll eat a hard boiled egg white, but no other egg white) or things that are generally very popular. To make up for this latter issue, I love many foods that are often unpopular. So for example, given the choice between liver and chocolate, I'll take the liver. So, it's not a question of me being pickier than average, I'm just non-mainstream. And nothing new there.
In fact I eat most regular foods. There are, for example, very few vegetables I don't like. In a world where some simply don't eat vegetables, or only do so because they feel they ought to, rather than enjoying them, I am far less picky there.
But in fact I don't find anything wrong with being picky about food. It isn't like I only eat a short list of food items, the type of picky I usually see. I just don't see the point of eating something I don't like. My entire philosophy about food is that if it's not delicious (i.e. not a question of being passable, I must actively enjoy it) I don't eat it. Life is too short for bad food and I don't need the calories.
I'll give you an example - burger buns. Most of them are pretty awful, actually. I'm told it doesn't matter, it's just there to hold the burger. Well, you may as well eat a napkin then, because eating a food holder is ridiculous. When I eat burgers I will either:
1. Obtain a good bun.
2. Go without a bun.
The latter is a great low carb option anyway.
Pasta on its own leaves me stone cold. It's not unpleasant, but it's just dull. Adding butter only raises it a level. Add cheese and it's good. Therefore if I eat pasta, there must be cheese.
I don't eat plain boiled rice because it's dull and sucks away flavour from other things. Fried rice, risotto, or pilaf are all just fine. I don't eat brown rice because I don't like the taste. Some say it tastes "nutty". Well, so does dirt. If I seek a nutty flavour, I eat nuts.
I love fish, never met seafood I didn't like. I love all meats except venison, and I wasn't keen on moose but it may have been the recipe. I don't like slow cooked poultry, but I do love it fried or grilled or roast.
I bet I eat, and enjoy, a longer list of foods than most people, actually.
No, my tastes issues are quite specific. Mostly to do with quality. I don't eat stale or dry food. I don't eat burned food. I don't eat overcooked food. I don't eat bland, watery food. This isn't picky this is discerning. Gourmet even. Anything wrong with gourmet?
The real problem is that the specific flavours I don't like keep cropping up these days.
There are fashions in food the same as in everything and people are discovering the wealth of foods from around the world. Being English, I grew up with curry, but it was a specifically English version of it, using a limited range of spices to suit the English palate. But now, thanks to TV chefs and people being more adventurous, a more authentic Asian cuisine is arriving in the west.
Enter a long list of flavours that I really can't stand.
You can group these into three categories:
1. Flavours that I might well enjoy in sweet items/desserts, but find completely off-putting in savoury dishes, often to the point where I simply can't eat it, depending on quantity.
This includes spices such as cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg, mint, ginger, and also most fruit.
Tiny amounts of cloves or ginger in a spice blend, you may get away with. But too much and I'm pushing it away. My taste buds say no, and my gag reflex wakes up ready to go if pushed.
I can tolerate raisins in SOME savoury dishes, pickled fruits in chutney is sometimes OK, and citrus is usually just fine, but if you start mixing raspberries into my salad, I am not going to eat it.
2. The aniseed family. From fennel to licorice, and even dried basil (fresh is fine), I simply don't do that flavour. I can't even bear the smell. This also means no pastis or ouzo, thank you. Can't do it. Just.....no,
3. Cardamom. It gets its own category because that shit is just nasty. It tastes like furniture polish. No, I've never eaten furniture polish, so don't be difficult. Taste is mostly done in the nose - actually - block your nose and you can't taste anything. So there. Cardamom tastes the same as furniture polish smells, and I don't even understand why anyone would think to use it in food.
I've heard people say it has an "interesting" flavour. Well so does bleach.
So, last week quite by chance I learned about Pho. I've never had Pho, and after reading about it, I'm never going to.
I learned two things about it.
1. It contains several of the above mentioned spices,
2. It is pronounced "fuh".
I'm used to oriental languages being spelled in ridiculous ways when using the Roman alphabet, because I'm attempting to learn Mandarin, and it is written in pinyin using a system invented by a madman. This is why Feng Shui is actually pronounced fung shway. Because using vowels that made sense would have made it all too easy for those of us already struggling with Chinese characters and 4 effing tones. Don't even get me started.
But if it's pronounced "fuh" then I can put a k on the end, and you know what that means? Yes it means I have found another way of spelling the word that gets me into trouble.
Now I can write What the Phok?
And indeed, while I often say "WTF"? when told many things, if they are food-related, it is more appropriate to say "WTP?"
So when I hear about balsamic pears next time, you know what I'm going to say.
EDIT: This was supposed to be a humorous piece. I've already had one complaint and it was only published a few minutes ago. Please find your sense of humour and read it again.
In fact I eat most regular foods. There are, for example, very few vegetables I don't like. In a world where some simply don't eat vegetables, or only do so because they feel they ought to, rather than enjoying them, I am far less picky there.
But in fact I don't find anything wrong with being picky about food. It isn't like I only eat a short list of food items, the type of picky I usually see. I just don't see the point of eating something I don't like. My entire philosophy about food is that if it's not delicious (i.e. not a question of being passable, I must actively enjoy it) I don't eat it. Life is too short for bad food and I don't need the calories.
I'll give you an example - burger buns. Most of them are pretty awful, actually. I'm told it doesn't matter, it's just there to hold the burger. Well, you may as well eat a napkin then, because eating a food holder is ridiculous. When I eat burgers I will either:
1. Obtain a good bun.
2. Go without a bun.
The latter is a great low carb option anyway.
Pasta on its own leaves me stone cold. It's not unpleasant, but it's just dull. Adding butter only raises it a level. Add cheese and it's good. Therefore if I eat pasta, there must be cheese.
I don't eat plain boiled rice because it's dull and sucks away flavour from other things. Fried rice, risotto, or pilaf are all just fine. I don't eat brown rice because I don't like the taste. Some say it tastes "nutty". Well, so does dirt. If I seek a nutty flavour, I eat nuts.
I love fish, never met seafood I didn't like. I love all meats except venison, and I wasn't keen on moose but it may have been the recipe. I don't like slow cooked poultry, but I do love it fried or grilled or roast.
I bet I eat, and enjoy, a longer list of foods than most people, actually.
No, my tastes issues are quite specific. Mostly to do with quality. I don't eat stale or dry food. I don't eat burned food. I don't eat overcooked food. I don't eat bland, watery food. This isn't picky this is discerning. Gourmet even. Anything wrong with gourmet?
The real problem is that the specific flavours I don't like keep cropping up these days.
There are fashions in food the same as in everything and people are discovering the wealth of foods from around the world. Being English, I grew up with curry, but it was a specifically English version of it, using a limited range of spices to suit the English palate. But now, thanks to TV chefs and people being more adventurous, a more authentic Asian cuisine is arriving in the west.
Enter a long list of flavours that I really can't stand.
You can group these into three categories:
1. Flavours that I might well enjoy in sweet items/desserts, but find completely off-putting in savoury dishes, often to the point where I simply can't eat it, depending on quantity.
This includes spices such as cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg, mint, ginger, and also most fruit.
Tiny amounts of cloves or ginger in a spice blend, you may get away with. But too much and I'm pushing it away. My taste buds say no, and my gag reflex wakes up ready to go if pushed.
I can tolerate raisins in SOME savoury dishes, pickled fruits in chutney is sometimes OK, and citrus is usually just fine, but if you start mixing raspberries into my salad, I am not going to eat it.
2. The aniseed family. From fennel to licorice, and even dried basil (fresh is fine), I simply don't do that flavour. I can't even bear the smell. This also means no pastis or ouzo, thank you. Can't do it. Just.....no,
3. Cardamom. It gets its own category because that shit is just nasty. It tastes like furniture polish. No, I've never eaten furniture polish, so don't be difficult. Taste is mostly done in the nose - actually - block your nose and you can't taste anything. So there. Cardamom tastes the same as furniture polish smells, and I don't even understand why anyone would think to use it in food.
I've heard people say it has an "interesting" flavour. Well so does bleach.
So, last week quite by chance I learned about Pho. I've never had Pho, and after reading about it, I'm never going to.
I learned two things about it.
1. It contains several of the above mentioned spices,
2. It is pronounced "fuh".
I'm used to oriental languages being spelled in ridiculous ways when using the Roman alphabet, because I'm attempting to learn Mandarin, and it is written in pinyin using a system invented by a madman. This is why Feng Shui is actually pronounced fung shway. Because using vowels that made sense would have made it all too easy for those of us already struggling with Chinese characters and 4 effing tones. Don't even get me started.
But if it's pronounced "fuh" then I can put a k on the end, and you know what that means? Yes it means I have found another way of spelling the word that gets me into trouble.
Now I can write What the Phok?
And indeed, while I often say "WTF"? when told many things, if they are food-related, it is more appropriate to say "WTP?"
So when I hear about balsamic pears next time, you know what I'm going to say.
EDIT: This was supposed to be a humorous piece. I've already had one complaint and it was only published a few minutes ago. Please find your sense of humour and read it again.
Friday, 1 August 2014
Minestrone
First a bit of food history. I love this stuff. Minestrone comes from the same root as does ministry, i.e. to serve. The minestras were the serving people in Ancient Rome, and what they got to eat was any leftovers from preparing meals, or food returned to the kitchen unfinished. They survived on this and so can you.
So minestrone is a "throw it all in" soup, which means there is no recipe for it. What? But I can find hundreds of recipes for minestrone online! Sure you can, and they're all different. You'll find a favourite sooner or later, but you'll also discover you can make this out of leftovers/what's on sale/what's in the garden in a glut/what needs using up in the fridge, etc.
So a question arises, when is a soup NOT a minestrone? Well, that's an argument you can have all day, but in my opinion the guideline is as follows:
Minestrone is a hearty soup, with a lot of different vegetables, possibly meat (but not essential), and definitely including beans, but also possibly pasta or rice. It usually includes tomato but that's not essential. Served with bread, it's substantial enough for a main course meal. It is also my considered opinion that as this dish originates from Italy, then flavourings should be those typically found in Italian cusine, in other words, if you used Indian or Mexican spices, it ceases to be Minestrone (but it would still be most excellent).
Because it can be varied so much, it's possible to slip this into the dinner menu weekly, or even more often, without the family crying "Oh no, not again".
Here is an example for making minestrone, using leftovers:
http://www.saveur.com/article/Recipes/Minestrone-1000090697
You can substitute to your heart's content.
Here is a totally different version, so you can see how flexible it is:
http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/12013/minestrone+soup
And here is a more "authentic" version, if there is such a thing:
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/classic-minestrone/
So minestrone is a "throw it all in" soup, which means there is no recipe for it. What? But I can find hundreds of recipes for minestrone online! Sure you can, and they're all different. You'll find a favourite sooner or later, but you'll also discover you can make this out of leftovers/what's on sale/what's in the garden in a glut/what needs using up in the fridge, etc.
So a question arises, when is a soup NOT a minestrone? Well, that's an argument you can have all day, but in my opinion the guideline is as follows:
Minestrone is a hearty soup, with a lot of different vegetables, possibly meat (but not essential), and definitely including beans, but also possibly pasta or rice. It usually includes tomato but that's not essential. Served with bread, it's substantial enough for a main course meal. It is also my considered opinion that as this dish originates from Italy, then flavourings should be those typically found in Italian cusine, in other words, if you used Indian or Mexican spices, it ceases to be Minestrone (but it would still be most excellent).
Because it can be varied so much, it's possible to slip this into the dinner menu weekly, or even more often, without the family crying "Oh no, not again".
Here is an example for making minestrone, using leftovers:
http://www.saveur.com/article/Recipes/Minestrone-1000090697
You can substitute to your heart's content.
Here is a totally different version, so you can see how flexible it is:
http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/12013/minestrone+soup
And here is a more "authentic" version, if there is such a thing:
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/classic-minestrone/
Saturday, 19 July 2014
Sausage Rolls
I never finish learning, and today I learned that pigs in a blanket is NOT the same as a sausage roll.
Anyway, this is how you make sausage rolls.
First you need pastry. You can buy it frozen of course, or you can make your own, and there are several types of pastry suited to this. Puff or flaky pastry is increasingly popular, in fact for some people that's the only pastry they'll accept. Then there's an old-fashioned shortcrust pastry which is sturdier - if you plan on transporting these it might stand up to it better.
But we have developed a taste for a pastry that is halfway between the two, and the recipe is printed on a brand-name lard here in Canada, called Tenderflake. The Tenderflake recipe is so good, that frankly we don't bother with anything else.
You'll find it in detail here:
http://www.thekitchenmagpie.com/tenderflake-recipe
Tom is the pastry maker here and he says just use all the damn water, it turns out fine.
Anyway, having made that, let it sit, covered while you make your sausagemeat filling.
You'll need
1kg of lean ground pork
A medium onion chopped up very finely
1 tablespoon of parsley
2 tsps sage
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper.
Get your hands in it and mix that all up.
Now grab a lump of pastry dough and roll it out to a long, long strip about 4" wide. Then take the sausage meat and create a snake right down the centre third of the pastry. Now flip the sides up and overlap them so the meat is covered and you have a very, very long sausage roll.
First time I got Michael to do this he struggled with it, and I said to him "Call yourself a teenager, and you don't know how to roll a joint?" He was horrified.
Cut it into shorter lengths. short ones for parties, a bit longer if you're serving it for a meal. Repeat until the pastry and sausage meat is all gone. Turn them over so the join is on the bottom and line up on parchment lined pans. Slash the tops with a knife, and then paint them all well with an eggwash.
Bake at 180C for about 45 minutes.
This makes a lot, but don't do less. They freeze well, and besides, they are so good they'll go fast.
Anyway, this is how you make sausage rolls.
First you need pastry. You can buy it frozen of course, or you can make your own, and there are several types of pastry suited to this. Puff or flaky pastry is increasingly popular, in fact for some people that's the only pastry they'll accept. Then there's an old-fashioned shortcrust pastry which is sturdier - if you plan on transporting these it might stand up to it better.
But we have developed a taste for a pastry that is halfway between the two, and the recipe is printed on a brand-name lard here in Canada, called Tenderflake. The Tenderflake recipe is so good, that frankly we don't bother with anything else.
You'll find it in detail here:
http://www.thekitchenmagpie.com/tenderflake-recipe
Tom is the pastry maker here and he says just use all the damn water, it turns out fine.
Anyway, having made that, let it sit, covered while you make your sausagemeat filling.
You'll need
1kg of lean ground pork
A medium onion chopped up very finely
1 tablespoon of parsley
2 tsps sage
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper.
Get your hands in it and mix that all up.
Now grab a lump of pastry dough and roll it out to a long, long strip about 4" wide. Then take the sausage meat and create a snake right down the centre third of the pastry. Now flip the sides up and overlap them so the meat is covered and you have a very, very long sausage roll.
First time I got Michael to do this he struggled with it, and I said to him "Call yourself a teenager, and you don't know how to roll a joint?" He was horrified.
Cut it into shorter lengths. short ones for parties, a bit longer if you're serving it for a meal. Repeat until the pastry and sausage meat is all gone. Turn them over so the join is on the bottom and line up on parchment lined pans. Slash the tops with a knife, and then paint them all well with an eggwash.
Bake at 180C for about 45 minutes.
This makes a lot, but don't do less. They freeze well, and besides, they are so good they'll go fast.
Tuesday, 17 June 2014
Sandwiches
I eat a sandwich virtually ever day. Have done my whole life. Isn't that a bit boring? No. Actually, no. Lots of variety possible.
There is something deeply cultural about it. Somehow, probably because it was cheap and easy, I grew up thinking that lumch and sandwich were synonymous. Lunchtime? Eat sandwich.
Not only that, but I refuse to eat a sandwich at dinnertime. That screams "insufficuent" to me. And somehow just wrong. And no, I don't include burgers or tacos or quesadillas in that restriction. They are not what I think of when I think of a sandwich.
And I even like those simple, somewhat plain sandwiches from childhood. That is to say a ham sandwich, or a cheese sandwich, with nothing else other than butter and bread. These will please me greatly, at any time.
But I'm also very fond of elaborate sandwiches, crusty French bread split lengthwise and stuffed full of all manner of salads, meat, and condiments.
Still, the topic of sandwiches can be as massive as the entire topic of food. And I can be just as fussy.
Remember: I don't believe in eating bad food. EVER. I'm not poor enough or hungry enough.
The first issue is the bread. There was a time, I swear, that white sliced bread in a bag was edible. But that was at least 20 years ago. Of course our tastes become more sophisticated with age, but this is a comparison thing - 20+ years ago, bagged sliced white bread was similar to fresh white bakery bread, just not as good. NOW? No comparison. The white bagged sliced bread has a texture of polyester quilt batting, and tastes like cardboard. It has neither the texture, nor taste of bread at all. Cheap burger buns are as bad.
So, if that is all that's available, forget it. There's nothing you can add to make it enjoyable.
But let's return now to the question of culture.
I failed "Being English" miserably. From a young age I was far too interested in foreign food/culture/travel, and new experiences. I hate tea, have no time for royalty, cricket bores me silly, and the abiding English attitude that while the empire may be long gone, anything English is automatically better just disgusts me. It's complete bollocks, and is a simmering mild bigotry. Yeuk.
Nevertheless, I was raised in a land where bread was spread with butter, and it feels like a default to me. That's the first step. After that, all bets are off, but butter my bloody bread, will you? This whole North American thing of mayo instead of butter will not do. I love mayo, oh yes I do. And I will add it to many of my sandwiches. But I still want butter first.
That's not the only problem I have with the typical North American sandwich. Why does it have to have cheese in it? You make fun of me for my butter default, but you have a cheese default. Cheese in every sandwich just ends up making all sandwiches too alike. Again, I love cheese. I love a cheese sandwich. But if I ask for a roast beef sandwich, for example, if I don't mention cheese, it means I don't want it. Otherwise I'd ask for a roast beef and cheese sandwich.
In particular I do not want ham and cheese. Yes, I know it's popular. Yes, ham on pizza is fine. But cold sliced cheese should not be adulterated with ham, and cold sliced ham should not be adulterated with cheese.
And while I'm at it, processed pretend cheese has no place ANYWHERE. If you put that in my sandwich I'll throw it at you.
Then there's the BLT. Which I don't understand. Or, to put it another way, I'll take my BLT without lettuce or tomato, thank you. A bacon sandwich is a thing of great beauty. Buttered bread, obviously, well-cooked bacon (no flabby fat), and ketchup will do nicely.
A sausage sandwich is good too. Cooked sausages, cold, sliced lengthwise, with ketchup. A hot dog is NOT good. Sausage in a bun? Sure. But not a nasty quilt batting bun (see above). Good bread. And not a nasty wiener, a good sausage. Any kind of good sausage, doesn't matter. Add ketchup, or mustard, or both, or sauerkraut. But no bloody hot dogs.
Then there's seafood. Sardines, tuna, salmon, shrimp, all will make me quite happy. I was in my 30s before I discovered tuna mayonnaise, and I quite like it now, but I'm just as happy with regular tuna, and some sliced cucumber. My husband does a beautiful salmon "salad" mix, with lots of black pepper.
Liverwurst, pâté, and potted meats (or fish) are all just fine with me too. Cucumber makes a good addition.
As for ham, so long as it's not too cheap and nasty, it's all good. What goes with ham? Well, tomato, and/or mayo, or Branston pickle, or mustard. Or a full salad. That all works. NO CHEESE.
Roast beef, add tomato or horseradish. NO CHEESE.
Chicken or turkey, only from a real roast. None of the processed deli meats quite work. White meat only, and fine just as is, with salt. Or with Branston, or salad. NO CHEESE.
And the vast majority of deli meats are nasty, especially the soft ones. Bologna, mortadella, and all that. Yeuk.
Salami is good though. Add mayo and thinly sliced green pepper. Maybe some olives. Cheese here is optional, but it has to be a suitable cheese.
Eggs, ah yes. Egg mayo or just sliced hard-boiled egg is fine. Add tomato. Or cress. Or just as is. NO CHEESE.
I do not eat fried egg sandwiches, because I do not eat fried egg white. I particularly dislike the weird pseudo-omelettes that fast food places put in breakfast "sandwiches". And their greasy sausage patties are vile too. I have a problem with grabbing breakfast "on the road" for this reason - these tend to be their idea of breakfast.
Peanut butter? NO. Never, don't eat it. And as for combining it with jam.......bizarre. Just bizarre.
I don't eat Marmite (see note above on failing "Being English").
And don't get me started on sandwiches with soup.
Oh, while I'm here, we must discuss grilled cheese sandwiches. First of all, the name. Because usually they are actually fried. So if we are talking ACTUALLY grilled, like panini, that's fine. I'll even mix cheese and meat then. But a fried cheese sandwich? No. Forget it. Give me a slice of cheese on toast any day, and for preference with sliced tomato on top.
Have I forgotten anything? Probably, because people put some weird shit in sandwiches.
There is something deeply cultural about it. Somehow, probably because it was cheap and easy, I grew up thinking that lumch and sandwich were synonymous. Lunchtime? Eat sandwich.
Not only that, but I refuse to eat a sandwich at dinnertime. That screams "insufficuent" to me. And somehow just wrong. And no, I don't include burgers or tacos or quesadillas in that restriction. They are not what I think of when I think of a sandwich.
And I even like those simple, somewhat plain sandwiches from childhood. That is to say a ham sandwich, or a cheese sandwich, with nothing else other than butter and bread. These will please me greatly, at any time.
But I'm also very fond of elaborate sandwiches, crusty French bread split lengthwise and stuffed full of all manner of salads, meat, and condiments.
Still, the topic of sandwiches can be as massive as the entire topic of food. And I can be just as fussy.
Remember: I don't believe in eating bad food. EVER. I'm not poor enough or hungry enough.
The first issue is the bread. There was a time, I swear, that white sliced bread in a bag was edible. But that was at least 20 years ago. Of course our tastes become more sophisticated with age, but this is a comparison thing - 20+ years ago, bagged sliced white bread was similar to fresh white bakery bread, just not as good. NOW? No comparison. The white bagged sliced bread has a texture of polyester quilt batting, and tastes like cardboard. It has neither the texture, nor taste of bread at all. Cheap burger buns are as bad.
So, if that is all that's available, forget it. There's nothing you can add to make it enjoyable.
But let's return now to the question of culture.
I failed "Being English" miserably. From a young age I was far too interested in foreign food/culture/travel, and new experiences. I hate tea, have no time for royalty, cricket bores me silly, and the abiding English attitude that while the empire may be long gone, anything English is automatically better just disgusts me. It's complete bollocks, and is a simmering mild bigotry. Yeuk.
Nevertheless, I was raised in a land where bread was spread with butter, and it feels like a default to me. That's the first step. After that, all bets are off, but butter my bloody bread, will you? This whole North American thing of mayo instead of butter will not do. I love mayo, oh yes I do. And I will add it to many of my sandwiches. But I still want butter first.
That's not the only problem I have with the typical North American sandwich. Why does it have to have cheese in it? You make fun of me for my butter default, but you have a cheese default. Cheese in every sandwich just ends up making all sandwiches too alike. Again, I love cheese. I love a cheese sandwich. But if I ask for a roast beef sandwich, for example, if I don't mention cheese, it means I don't want it. Otherwise I'd ask for a roast beef and cheese sandwich.
In particular I do not want ham and cheese. Yes, I know it's popular. Yes, ham on pizza is fine. But cold sliced cheese should not be adulterated with ham, and cold sliced ham should not be adulterated with cheese.
And while I'm at it, processed pretend cheese has no place ANYWHERE. If you put that in my sandwich I'll throw it at you.
Then there's the BLT. Which I don't understand. Or, to put it another way, I'll take my BLT without lettuce or tomato, thank you. A bacon sandwich is a thing of great beauty. Buttered bread, obviously, well-cooked bacon (no flabby fat), and ketchup will do nicely.
A sausage sandwich is good too. Cooked sausages, cold, sliced lengthwise, with ketchup. A hot dog is NOT good. Sausage in a bun? Sure. But not a nasty quilt batting bun (see above). Good bread. And not a nasty wiener, a good sausage. Any kind of good sausage, doesn't matter. Add ketchup, or mustard, or both, or sauerkraut. But no bloody hot dogs.
Then there's seafood. Sardines, tuna, salmon, shrimp, all will make me quite happy. I was in my 30s before I discovered tuna mayonnaise, and I quite like it now, but I'm just as happy with regular tuna, and some sliced cucumber. My husband does a beautiful salmon "salad" mix, with lots of black pepper.
Liverwurst, pâté, and potted meats (or fish) are all just fine with me too. Cucumber makes a good addition.
As for ham, so long as it's not too cheap and nasty, it's all good. What goes with ham? Well, tomato, and/or mayo, or Branston pickle, or mustard. Or a full salad. That all works. NO CHEESE.
Roast beef, add tomato or horseradish. NO CHEESE.
Chicken or turkey, only from a real roast. None of the processed deli meats quite work. White meat only, and fine just as is, with salt. Or with Branston, or salad. NO CHEESE.
And the vast majority of deli meats are nasty, especially the soft ones. Bologna, mortadella, and all that. Yeuk.
Salami is good though. Add mayo and thinly sliced green pepper. Maybe some olives. Cheese here is optional, but it has to be a suitable cheese.
Eggs, ah yes. Egg mayo or just sliced hard-boiled egg is fine. Add tomato. Or cress. Or just as is. NO CHEESE.
I do not eat fried egg sandwiches, because I do not eat fried egg white. I particularly dislike the weird pseudo-omelettes that fast food places put in breakfast "sandwiches". And their greasy sausage patties are vile too. I have a problem with grabbing breakfast "on the road" for this reason - these tend to be their idea of breakfast.
Peanut butter? NO. Never, don't eat it. And as for combining it with jam.......bizarre. Just bizarre.
I don't eat Marmite (see note above on failing "Being English").
And don't get me started on sandwiches with soup.
Oh, while I'm here, we must discuss grilled cheese sandwiches. First of all, the name. Because usually they are actually fried. So if we are talking ACTUALLY grilled, like panini, that's fine. I'll even mix cheese and meat then. But a fried cheese sandwich? No. Forget it. Give me a slice of cheese on toast any day, and for preference with sliced tomato on top.
Have I forgotten anything? Probably, because people put some weird shit in sandwiches.
Monday, 2 June 2014
Bechamel Battles
I was reminded this morning to do this, but I've been meaning to for a long time.
There is a........thing...........that some people do, which is to use condensed soup as a sauce.
It's not for me to tell you what to do, for a number of reasons, and if you like that, or you simply find it convenient, that's fine, just don't feed it to me. YEUK.
But if the reason you do it is fear of bechamel/white sauce/roux sauce then we can fix this.
Bechamel is a very basic sauce, and it was the first thing I was ever taught as an 11-year-old in HE at school. Although it has a French name, versions of it exist all over the world, and my guess is that it is a very old idea.
The principle behind it is to melt butter, add flour to make a sort of paste, then add milk to thin it back down to the thickness you want.
There are actually names for the different thicknesses, depending on your purpose, e.g. "Panada" for a very thick sauce. And you can look up measurements/proportions of the ingredients to predict accurately in advance how thick it will be, and your total yield. These usually keep the milk quantity stable, while adjusting the amount of butter and flour. Here's a handy olde fashionde chart to give you an idea.
Thin sauce 1/2 oz butter, 1/2 oz flour, 1/2 pint milk
Pouring sauce 3/4 oz butter, 3/4 oz flour, 1/2 pint milk
Coating sauce 1 oz butter, 1 oz flour, 1/2 pint milk
Very thick sauce 2 oz butter, 2oz flour, 1/2 pint milk
If you stick to these for quantities you will have consistent results.
But I rarely measure it. I do it by eye and I'm going to teach you how to do it.
First get a "knob" of butter. How much is a knob? It's described in cooking glossaries as a walnut sized piece, or about a rounded tablespoon. I've even seen it given as 25 grams, and that's just silly. Decide on your own knob, and stick to it. Roughly.
I did this by eye and it came to 28grams.
Melt this in a saucepan. You don't want it too hot, but you don't want to wait all day so on a scale of 10, 5 is a good heat. Let it completely melt, but don't let it start to burn.
Now, with a wooden spoon, stir in enough flour to make it all stick together. For this amount of butter a heaped tablespoon of flour is roughly right. There is considerable variation possible here, but I'll show you what exactly equal parts (by weight) butter and flour look like.
This is your roux. A mixture of fat and flour, that is now heating through, but again, you don't want it to change colour, so keep it moving about. Cook it in this way for about 1 minute.
Now add milk. The trick is to pour slowly and mix fast. Use your dominant hand to mix and your other one to pour. Slowly means slowly. Not a trickle, but a slow pour. Switch to a whisk as soon as you can, and mix FAST. When all the milk is added, keep whisking, as the mixture will thicken a little more once the heat stabilizes. Some people use warm milk to minimize that, but it isn't necessary.
So let's recap in brief.
Melt butter.
Add flour.
Pour milk in SLOWLY, and whisk it FAST.
That's it. That's all there is to it.
Typical problems:
#1 Too dense a roux, due to too much flour in proportion to fat. This is not insurmountable, and is sometimes deliberately done to get a lower fat sauce. You'll just have to whisk like a mad thing.
#2 Sauce comes out too thin. Too much milk added. If you are adding it slowly this will not happen. So pay attention.
#3 Sauce too thick. So add more milk. End of problem.
Questions?
There is a........thing...........that some people do, which is to use condensed soup as a sauce.
It's not for me to tell you what to do, for a number of reasons, and if you like that, or you simply find it convenient, that's fine, just don't feed it to me. YEUK.
But if the reason you do it is fear of bechamel/white sauce/roux sauce then we can fix this.
Bechamel is a very basic sauce, and it was the first thing I was ever taught as an 11-year-old in HE at school. Although it has a French name, versions of it exist all over the world, and my guess is that it is a very old idea.
The principle behind it is to melt butter, add flour to make a sort of paste, then add milk to thin it back down to the thickness you want.
There are actually names for the different thicknesses, depending on your purpose, e.g. "Panada" for a very thick sauce. And you can look up measurements/proportions of the ingredients to predict accurately in advance how thick it will be, and your total yield. These usually keep the milk quantity stable, while adjusting the amount of butter and flour. Here's a handy olde fashionde chart to give you an idea.
Thin sauce 1/2 oz butter, 1/2 oz flour, 1/2 pint milk
Pouring sauce 3/4 oz butter, 3/4 oz flour, 1/2 pint milk
Coating sauce 1 oz butter, 1 oz flour, 1/2 pint milk
Very thick sauce 2 oz butter, 2oz flour, 1/2 pint milk
If you stick to these for quantities you will have consistent results.
But I rarely measure it. I do it by eye and I'm going to teach you how to do it.
First get a "knob" of butter. How much is a knob? It's described in cooking glossaries as a walnut sized piece, or about a rounded tablespoon. I've even seen it given as 25 grams, and that's just silly. Decide on your own knob, and stick to it. Roughly.
I did this by eye and it came to 28grams.
Melt this in a saucepan. You don't want it too hot, but you don't want to wait all day so on a scale of 10, 5 is a good heat. Let it completely melt, but don't let it start to burn.
Now, with a wooden spoon, stir in enough flour to make it all stick together. For this amount of butter a heaped tablespoon of flour is roughly right. There is considerable variation possible here, but I'll show you what exactly equal parts (by weight) butter and flour look like.
This is your roux. A mixture of fat and flour, that is now heating through, but again, you don't want it to change colour, so keep it moving about. Cook it in this way for about 1 minute.
Now add milk. The trick is to pour slowly and mix fast. Use your dominant hand to mix and your other one to pour. Slowly means slowly. Not a trickle, but a slow pour. Switch to a whisk as soon as you can, and mix FAST. When all the milk is added, keep whisking, as the mixture will thicken a little more once the heat stabilizes. Some people use warm milk to minimize that, but it isn't necessary.
So let's recap in brief.
Melt butter.
Add flour.
Pour milk in SLOWLY, and whisk it FAST.
That's it. That's all there is to it.
Typical problems:
#1 Too dense a roux, due to too much flour in proportion to fat. This is not insurmountable, and is sometimes deliberately done to get a lower fat sauce. You'll just have to whisk like a mad thing.
#2 Sauce comes out too thin. Too much milk added. If you are adding it slowly this will not happen. So pay attention.
#3 Sauce too thick. So add more milk. End of problem.
Questions?
Wednesday, 28 May 2014
Toad in the Hole - Guaranteed
I want everyone to be able to enjoy this delicious dish.
It's usually thought of as a quintessential English dish, but was actually invented by an Italian, its history is documented, and it's not even that old, less than 200 years old.
When I learned this I tried it with Italian sausage and I've never looked back. Where I live in Ontario you can't get a good English sausage for love nor money anyway, so, problem solved. You can use any sausage, and those with a herb flavour are wonderful, if you can obtain them.
Anyway, there are three steps that are vital to make this dish a success.
1. The right batter.
2. A HOT pan.
3. A HOT oven.
For this reason (all this heat) this is not a recipe suitable for children. Please bear that in mind.
OK, so pre-heating that oven is critical. Turn it up to HOT. If it isn't 100% clean it may even smoke as stuff burns off the inside, vent that out if need be, LOL. So for an electric oven you need it at 450F/230C.
While it heats up, arrange your sausages in a deep dish, such as a lasagne dish. Glass is easier to clean afterwards. Bake the sausages until they start to change colour. At this point THEY are hot. It's a good idea to place this on a larger oven tray just in case.
While the sausages cook, make your batter. Yorkshire pudding batter is all based on proportion by volume so you need a couple of measuring jugs. The following amount will be enough for four people over about half a dozen sausages.
Break 4 eggs into a cup, see where it measures to.
You will need the same amount of flour and the same amount of milk.
Put the flour and a pinch of salt in a bowl, and beat the eggs in well. Then beat the milk in slowly.
Now take your hot pan from the oven, run the fat from the sausages around the sides, then pour the batter in and put the whole thing back in the oven.
Do be careful with the instructions in italics there. It's very hot.
It is a matter of considerable argument among enthusiasts as to whether the oven should be turned down during the cooking time. I find that it can get too dark/crispy if you don't, so I give it 5 minutes to rise then I reduce the heat to 200C. It takes 20-30 minutres or so to cook depending on the size of the pan, but don't worry, it won't deflate if you open the door to check on it towards the end. It's the START that needs that punch of heat. So after 20 minutes, you can safely look, and you don't want to burn it.
It's usually thought of as a quintessential English dish, but was actually invented by an Italian, its history is documented, and it's not even that old, less than 200 years old.
When I learned this I tried it with Italian sausage and I've never looked back. Where I live in Ontario you can't get a good English sausage for love nor money anyway, so, problem solved. You can use any sausage, and those with a herb flavour are wonderful, if you can obtain them.
Anyway, there are three steps that are vital to make this dish a success.
1. The right batter.
2. A HOT pan.
3. A HOT oven.
For this reason (all this heat) this is not a recipe suitable for children. Please bear that in mind.
OK, so pre-heating that oven is critical. Turn it up to HOT. If it isn't 100% clean it may even smoke as stuff burns off the inside, vent that out if need be, LOL. So for an electric oven you need it at 450F/230C.
While it heats up, arrange your sausages in a deep dish, such as a lasagne dish. Glass is easier to clean afterwards. Bake the sausages until they start to change colour. At this point THEY are hot. It's a good idea to place this on a larger oven tray just in case.
While the sausages cook, make your batter. Yorkshire pudding batter is all based on proportion by volume so you need a couple of measuring jugs. The following amount will be enough for four people over about half a dozen sausages.
Break 4 eggs into a cup, see where it measures to.
You will need the same amount of flour and the same amount of milk.
Put the flour and a pinch of salt in a bowl, and beat the eggs in well. Then beat the milk in slowly.
Now take your hot pan from the oven, run the fat from the sausages around the sides, then pour the batter in and put the whole thing back in the oven.
Do be careful with the instructions in italics there. It's very hot.
It is a matter of considerable argument among enthusiasts as to whether the oven should be turned down during the cooking time. I find that it can get too dark/crispy if you don't, so I give it 5 minutes to rise then I reduce the heat to 200C. It takes 20-30 minutres or so to cook depending on the size of the pan, but don't worry, it won't deflate if you open the door to check on it towards the end. It's the START that needs that punch of heat. So after 20 minutes, you can safely look, and you don't want to burn it.
Wednesday, 7 May 2014
How To Make Soup
Bizarre, I thought I'd already done this, but I can't find it, so here it is.
Soup is the most basic item of food you'll ever make. You can serve it as a lunch, a starter, a main course, whatever. You can use leftovers or you can buy fancy ingredients. None of this matters. Soup is a structural thing.
You need:
1. A BASE. That is to say, a blend of flavours that will work with anything. In classic French cookery this is a mirepoix. Cut up some onions (or leeks), some carrots, and some celery, and sauté them slowly/gently (i.e. low heat) in a fat of some sort (butter/oil/any old fat) until they are soft. Other cultures use different bases. Maybe peppers or garlic. Doesn't matter. You need something related to onions and a couple of other things. You can research/study this but you won't go far wrong with onion-carrot-celery, trust me.
2. LIQUID. This can be stock, or milk, or tomato juice, or any combination thereof. In theory it could be water if everything else is very flavourful, but you have to know what you are doing, so if you are a beginner USE STOCK. It can come from a stock cube, so don't panic. Just make sure that when you make it up it tastes fine AS IS.
3. The MAIN ELEMENT. This can be vegetables, or meat, or some of each, singly or in a mix. It could be just potato, or it could be a medley of all sorts. On Boxing Day, or the day after Thanksgiving I make soup from the leftovers. So, having done the above, I throw in turkey, roast potatoes, sprouts, carrots, peas, gravy, and even leftover cranberry sauce, bread, and stuffing. This is the beauty of soup. It can absorb anything. I have even thrown in leftover sausage rolls. You can literally make leftover soup from whatever is in your fridge. Or...in growing season you can get rid of all whatever glut you have.
4. SEASONING. Depending on your stock you may need to add salt. You will definitely benefit from a little pepper. Taste as you go. Herbs? Depends on what is in there. If it's tomato, then basil is good. If it's pork? Add sage. If it's chicken? Thyme or tarragon is good, etc. If you like it you can add spices, including curry spices (potato soup and curry spices are a marriage made in heaven.) Fish? YES FISH. Fish soup is amazing...add parsley. Etc. What do you normally add with this item?
5. THICKENING. If you are seeking a thick soup and your soup is runny, then add potato or flour. If you want to make it a main course soup you can add rice, pasta or something trendy like quinoa. These can be blended as can any/all of the above. If you add flour, stir it into a little cold liquid first or you may get lumps. Then add this mix while stirring.
That's it. That's soup. Any soup you ever enjoyed was made this way. Sure, you can use cream/yoghurt/sour cream at the end, or wine or vinegar to change the flavour, but this is basically it. Leftovers? They go in as #3.
Questions?
Soup is the most basic item of food you'll ever make. You can serve it as a lunch, a starter, a main course, whatever. You can use leftovers or you can buy fancy ingredients. None of this matters. Soup is a structural thing.
You need:
1. A BASE. That is to say, a blend of flavours that will work with anything. In classic French cookery this is a mirepoix. Cut up some onions (or leeks), some carrots, and some celery, and sauté them slowly/gently (i.e. low heat) in a fat of some sort (butter/oil/any old fat) until they are soft. Other cultures use different bases. Maybe peppers or garlic. Doesn't matter. You need something related to onions and a couple of other things. You can research/study this but you won't go far wrong with onion-carrot-celery, trust me.
2. LIQUID. This can be stock, or milk, or tomato juice, or any combination thereof. In theory it could be water if everything else is very flavourful, but you have to know what you are doing, so if you are a beginner USE STOCK. It can come from a stock cube, so don't panic. Just make sure that when you make it up it tastes fine AS IS.
3. The MAIN ELEMENT. This can be vegetables, or meat, or some of each, singly or in a mix. It could be just potato, or it could be a medley of all sorts. On Boxing Day, or the day after Thanksgiving I make soup from the leftovers. So, having done the above, I throw in turkey, roast potatoes, sprouts, carrots, peas, gravy, and even leftover cranberry sauce, bread, and stuffing. This is the beauty of soup. It can absorb anything. I have even thrown in leftover sausage rolls. You can literally make leftover soup from whatever is in your fridge. Or...in growing season you can get rid of all whatever glut you have.
4. SEASONING. Depending on your stock you may need to add salt. You will definitely benefit from a little pepper. Taste as you go. Herbs? Depends on what is in there. If it's tomato, then basil is good. If it's pork? Add sage. If it's chicken? Thyme or tarragon is good, etc. If you like it you can add spices, including curry spices (potato soup and curry spices are a marriage made in heaven.) Fish? YES FISH. Fish soup is amazing...add parsley. Etc. What do you normally add with this item?
5. THICKENING. If you are seeking a thick soup and your soup is runny, then add potato or flour. If you want to make it a main course soup you can add rice, pasta or something trendy like quinoa. These can be blended as can any/all of the above. If you add flour, stir it into a little cold liquid first or you may get lumps. Then add this mix while stirring.
That's it. That's soup. Any soup you ever enjoyed was made this way. Sure, you can use cream/yoghurt/sour cream at the end, or wine or vinegar to change the flavour, but this is basically it. Leftovers? They go in as #3.
Questions?
Tuesday, 8 April 2014
Lasagne
I often get corrected on my spelling, but I make lasagne, not lasagna. I have nothing against lasagna, but I met lasagne first, so that's what I make.
Lasagna originates in Italy, and although the version most people outside of Italy is slightly different, it's based on a recipe of a tomato-based sauce, usually with meat, and a soft cheese, interlayered with sheets of pasta.
On its travels from Italy lasagna went through France, where a different way of doing it arose. It got a new spelling, courtesy of the French, and then it travelled onwards to Britain. And, the big flat sheets of pasta were sold there in the 1970s with the French recipe on the box. Which was where we met, you see. That's where/when I learned to cook.
When I make lasagne for my Canadian friends, they seem to really enjoy it, and some have copied it for variety. So here's what we do in this house:
First we make a meat and tomato sauce, adding any vegetables we happen to have. For example last night we used green peppers and mushrooms. Zucchini is very good in this, as is spinach, but frankly you can use anything.
What Tom did last night was typical:
Brown ground beef, pour off the fat, add diced onions and garlic, green pepper and mushroom, sauté until veggies are tender then add tomato sauce (plain or flavoured, whatever you like) along with some black pepper, and Italian herbs. As its April and I don't do dried basil we also added some pesto. You can add a glass of red wine at this point, if you like.
Then make a fairly thick béchamel and add a goodly amount of grated cheese. Last night we used all old cheddar, but you can use a blend, and do include some parmesan or romano (we were out).
Layer so that you end up with the cheese sauce on the top and bake until it looks like this
ALWAYS make more than you need because something magical happens to leftover lasagne. When reheated for lunch the next day it's not just better but ten times better.
Opinions of what salad to serve with lasagne vary, but I prefer to serve a garden salad with no dressing. Yes, you heard me, no dressing. Lasagne is so rich I like that freshness to counteract it.
Lasagna originates in Italy, and although the version most people outside of Italy is slightly different, it's based on a recipe of a tomato-based sauce, usually with meat, and a soft cheese, interlayered with sheets of pasta.
On its travels from Italy lasagna went through France, where a different way of doing it arose. It got a new spelling, courtesy of the French, and then it travelled onwards to Britain. And, the big flat sheets of pasta were sold there in the 1970s with the French recipe on the box. Which was where we met, you see. That's where/when I learned to cook.
When I make lasagne for my Canadian friends, they seem to really enjoy it, and some have copied it for variety. So here's what we do in this house:
First we make a meat and tomato sauce, adding any vegetables we happen to have. For example last night we used green peppers and mushrooms. Zucchini is very good in this, as is spinach, but frankly you can use anything.
What Tom did last night was typical:
Brown ground beef, pour off the fat, add diced onions and garlic, green pepper and mushroom, sauté until veggies are tender then add tomato sauce (plain or flavoured, whatever you like) along with some black pepper, and Italian herbs. As its April and I don't do dried basil we also added some pesto. You can add a glass of red wine at this point, if you like.
Then make a fairly thick béchamel and add a goodly amount of grated cheese. Last night we used all old cheddar, but you can use a blend, and do include some parmesan or romano (we were out).
Layer so that you end up with the cheese sauce on the top and bake until it looks like this
ALWAYS make more than you need because something magical happens to leftover lasagne. When reheated for lunch the next day it's not just better but ten times better.
Opinions of what salad to serve with lasagne vary, but I prefer to serve a garden salad with no dressing. Yes, you heard me, no dressing. Lasagne is so rich I like that freshness to counteract it.
Saturday, 5 April 2014
Quiche
I can't believe I haven't already done this.
Anyway.....
Quiche is a staple food in my family, and we eat it year-round. I do mini quiches when I'm entertaining, in a muffin pan. You can too, but here I'm showing you regular pie-sized quiches.
Now the thing about quiche is that it doesn't matter what the filling is. You can use anything. Seafood is good, veggies are good, spicy sausage is good, etc etc.
But my default quiche is bacon, onion, mushroom, and tomato. As follows:
First you need a pastry crust. I have Tom, who makes the best pastry outside of France. You can make it, buy it pre-made, buy it frozen, or whatever, but you need a pastry case. Tip: roll it out slightly thicker than usual as the filling is runny to begin with.
Then add onion, we used a mixture of white, red, and green:
Bacon, partially cooked:
And now we need the substance of the thing, which is a custard of egg and milk, with salt and pepper to season. There is no absolute amount here, the object is to cover the other ingredients, just remember to use 3 eggs to every cup of milk. (But, cream is better, use any cream you have. If it's the thickest types, add another egg). DO NOT fill it right to the top. Egg rises.
Finally, top with tomato:
And put it in the oven (175C, 350F, I have no idea what that is in British gas). Cook until top is golden, and filling is set (test with a skewer). It will set a bit more as it cools, but don't take it out of the oven if it's still runny. It can take up to an hour, depending on how deep it is, but we cook 4 at a time, after 20 minutes we swap them around in the oven, top to bottom and vice versa. After 40 minutes, check for "doneness".
Quiche is intended to be served COLD, but I have family members who prefer it warm, so I humour them. I like it next day, fully cold, and served with a salad. It gets better with age, within reason, and I'm told it keeps for 5 days in the fridge, but it never lasts that long here.
Anyway.....
Quiche is a staple food in my family, and we eat it year-round. I do mini quiches when I'm entertaining, in a muffin pan. You can too, but here I'm showing you regular pie-sized quiches.
Now the thing about quiche is that it doesn't matter what the filling is. You can use anything. Seafood is good, veggies are good, spicy sausage is good, etc etc.
But my default quiche is bacon, onion, mushroom, and tomato. As follows:
First you need a pastry crust. I have Tom, who makes the best pastry outside of France. You can make it, buy it pre-made, buy it frozen, or whatever, but you need a pastry case. Tip: roll it out slightly thicker than usual as the filling is runny to begin with.
Use any type of pie dish you like:
The nest step is to fill it with whatever you like. I begin with cheese. When I say cheese I mean old cheddar, that's my default cheese:
Then add onion, we used a mixture of white, red, and green:
Bacon, partially cooked:
Mushrooms:
And now we need the substance of the thing, which is a custard of egg and milk, with salt and pepper to season. There is no absolute amount here, the object is to cover the other ingredients, just remember to use 3 eggs to every cup of milk. (But, cream is better, use any cream you have. If it's the thickest types, add another egg). DO NOT fill it right to the top. Egg rises.
Finally, top with tomato:
And put it in the oven (175C, 350F, I have no idea what that is in British gas). Cook until top is golden, and filling is set (test with a skewer). It will set a bit more as it cools, but don't take it out of the oven if it's still runny. It can take up to an hour, depending on how deep it is, but we cook 4 at a time, after 20 minutes we swap them around in the oven, top to bottom and vice versa. After 40 minutes, check for "doneness".
Quiche is intended to be served COLD, but I have family members who prefer it warm, so I humour them. I like it next day, fully cold, and served with a salad. It gets better with age, within reason, and I'm told it keeps for 5 days in the fridge, but it never lasts that long here.
Wednesday, 12 March 2014
Ratatouille
A friend needed a ratatouille recipe so I thought I'd do it here so I can share it again easily.
Ratatouille is a southern French vegetable stew. This is true peasant food, which means there is no single authoritative way to do it. Some people get very preachy about ingredients and methods, which I find rather silly. It's almost foolproof, you simply cook down the veggies until they are soft, it's probably the simplest thing you could make. You COULD just dump it all in a crockpot, it'd be perfectly edible. But it's better with a bit more care.
Here's how I do it, and the results are fantastic. Tweak to your heart's content.
I dice up equal parts of
Zucchini
Onions
Green Peppers
Red Peppers
Eggplant
And I fry them in a little olive oil, not too much (you don't want greasy veggies). You could grill them, or even bake them. You just want to brown them slightly, it brings out the flavour.
Then I add to this mixture enough diced/ground tomatoes (passata is fine, fresh is fine too, but do skin and core them first) to cover the rest of the veggies. You are looking for a stew texture.
Add as much garlic as you like, and herbs of your preference, such as basil, oregano, thyme, rosemary etc, I prefer to use fresh, but you can use dried (just don't use dried basil, that stuff should be banned, buy a basil plant, or a jar of pesto if you have to). A little salt and pepper.
This can be cooked in a saucepan, crockpot, or casserole. It takes quite a long time on a low heat, so if you want it for dinner, start prepping after lunch.
I serve it with fresh bread, and with a bit of cheddar cheese or parmesan grated on top. Cheese is absolutely the best finishing touch for this dish BUT, it's optional so this is a perfect dish for Vegans and those trying to lose weight. You use up more calories making and eating it than you get from it (hence the bread, under normal circumstances).
It can be spiced up and made into a vegetable curry.
It can be used instead of tomato sauce in a lasagne (with or without meat)
It is amazing with fish.
It is endlessly adaptable and always good. You will love it. Children love it. It's fantastic.
And now I want some......
Ratatouille is a southern French vegetable stew. This is true peasant food, which means there is no single authoritative way to do it. Some people get very preachy about ingredients and methods, which I find rather silly. It's almost foolproof, you simply cook down the veggies until they are soft, it's probably the simplest thing you could make. You COULD just dump it all in a crockpot, it'd be perfectly edible. But it's better with a bit more care.
Here's how I do it, and the results are fantastic. Tweak to your heart's content.
I dice up equal parts of
Zucchini
Onions
Green Peppers
Red Peppers
Eggplant
And I fry them in a little olive oil, not too much (you don't want greasy veggies). You could grill them, or even bake them. You just want to brown them slightly, it brings out the flavour.
Then I add to this mixture enough diced/ground tomatoes (passata is fine, fresh is fine too, but do skin and core them first) to cover the rest of the veggies. You are looking for a stew texture.
Add as much garlic as you like, and herbs of your preference, such as basil, oregano, thyme, rosemary etc, I prefer to use fresh, but you can use dried (just don't use dried basil, that stuff should be banned, buy a basil plant, or a jar of pesto if you have to). A little salt and pepper.
This can be cooked in a saucepan, crockpot, or casserole. It takes quite a long time on a low heat, so if you want it for dinner, start prepping after lunch.
I serve it with fresh bread, and with a bit of cheddar cheese or parmesan grated on top. Cheese is absolutely the best finishing touch for this dish BUT, it's optional so this is a perfect dish for Vegans and those trying to lose weight. You use up more calories making and eating it than you get from it (hence the bread, under normal circumstances).
It can be spiced up and made into a vegetable curry.
It can be used instead of tomato sauce in a lasagne (with or without meat)
It is amazing with fish.
It is endlessly adaptable and always good. You will love it. Children love it. It's fantastic.
And now I want some......
Wednesday, 22 January 2014
AGP
Also known as "Anything Goes" pasta. This is a last minute dish, which can include leftovers.
First cut everything up. A typical selection would be bacon, onions, green peppers, and leftover peas. Cook what needs to be cooked, all together, stiry fry style, and heat through any leftovers at the end. There are endless alternatives possible here, and I'll list some of those afterwards.
Meanwhile boil the pasta, and grate a generous amount of cheese. I use mostly cheddar with a little parmesan, but you can use mozarella if you want that stringy thing going on, or any cheese you have really. When the pasta is cooked, drain it, stir in a knob of butter, then the cheese. The knob of butter is vital, or the cheese will be lumpy. Add herbs or spices if desired.
Combine the stir fry with the cheesy pasta and serve.
Suitable meats include (but are not limited to) ground beef, ground pork, chopped up cooked roast meat, sausages, ham (fresh, leftover, canned, you name it), diced chicken or turkey, shrimp, and of course tuna or salmon.
Veggies include mushrooms, zucchini, green beans, canned beans, olives, corn kernels, peppers of any kind, including hot if you like them, brussels sprouts (yes really), broccoli, spinach, and more.
Many "named" pasta dishes are really versions of this.
A slightly fancier version is to make a cheese sauce instead of just melting cheese on the pasta.
First cut everything up. A typical selection would be bacon, onions, green peppers, and leftover peas. Cook what needs to be cooked, all together, stiry fry style, and heat through any leftovers at the end. There are endless alternatives possible here, and I'll list some of those afterwards.
Meanwhile boil the pasta, and grate a generous amount of cheese. I use mostly cheddar with a little parmesan, but you can use mozarella if you want that stringy thing going on, or any cheese you have really. When the pasta is cooked, drain it, stir in a knob of butter, then the cheese. The knob of butter is vital, or the cheese will be lumpy. Add herbs or spices if desired.
Combine the stir fry with the cheesy pasta and serve.
Suitable meats include (but are not limited to) ground beef, ground pork, chopped up cooked roast meat, sausages, ham (fresh, leftover, canned, you name it), diced chicken or turkey, shrimp, and of course tuna or salmon.
Veggies include mushrooms, zucchini, green beans, canned beans, olives, corn kernels, peppers of any kind, including hot if you like them, brussels sprouts (yes really), broccoli, spinach, and more.
Many "named" pasta dishes are really versions of this.
A slightly fancier version is to make a cheese sauce instead of just melting cheese on the pasta.
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